4:00

Right, right, he's using this disability thing as like, I

4:02

don't know any better. Sorry, I was late, sorry, I

4:04

missed the meeting. Sorry, I was late to the show.

4:07

I'm disabled. It's grow up, dude.

4:09

I'm disabled. You're a little retarded.

4:11

It's fine. I'm

4:13

more than a little Aaron, thank you so much. I also wanna

4:16

thank Aaron for bringing me a gift. We've

4:18

never had someone bring me a gift. He brought

4:20

me a Hustler magazine. Aaron, this was very nice

4:22

of you. This is April 2022, so he's had

4:24

this for a while. And you can't even open,

4:26

you can open one page, that's it. So thank

4:29

you so much. I also brought you a flashlight

4:31

vacuum. Yo, did you do that? You brought us

4:33

those sex toys? That's from you? Very nice. Now

4:35

have you used a sex toy before, Aaron? Have

4:37

you ever used any of these contraptions? The, what

4:40

is it called? The suck, auto suck? Yeah,

4:42

have you used any of that stuff before, Aaron?

4:45

My guess is. I've used all of them. Yeah,

4:47

there's no doubt. Yeah, I saw that coming for

4:49

a long time. Yeah, what do you

4:51

think? Do you like it? But the clean up is

4:53

a nightmare. Don't you think sex toys, the clean up

4:55

is disgusting? You have to clean after you're

4:57

done, which I find to be the most annoying part. I

5:00

actually lied, that's why I've never used one. I

5:02

don't want to clean dry, come, that's fucking gross.

5:06

It is gross. You are right, that

5:08

is very gross. I don't know why, I don't know why I

5:10

even thought you were that kind of guy. You're not? Maybe

5:12

he could do the cleaning. Oh, you let the dog lick it

5:15

up? You perv. Well, it is a

5:17

golden retriever. They're not the brightest dogs on earth.

5:19

No, they're very sweet, they're very loyal. They're like

5:21

you. They're loyal, they're sweet, a little slow, but

5:24

warm, big, beautiful heart, right? That's exactly right.

5:26

That is precisely what you are. You're just

5:28

like a golden retriever. And what is this

5:30

thing? Is that a tumor sticking out of

5:32

this guy? It's a skin tag. Ah,

5:35

that's what I call him. A skin tag, that's

5:37

his nickname. Aaron, how old are you? I'm

5:40

gonna guess right now, not if I'm right, 25. I'm

5:44

way off, huh? You're like 74. Really?

5:48

Wow. My God. You look like a

5:50

baby, 30 years old. The

5:53

cerebral palsy keeps me young? That's right.

5:59

Now how did you get cerebral? What happened?

6:01

Is it somewhere you lived? Was it living

6:03

conditions? Well first my

6:05

mom had sex with my dad. They had

6:07

diseases. It's a whole thing. No, that's terrible.

6:09

I'm so sorry. Do you have any video

6:12

of that? Of your mom and your dad

6:14

having sex? You can play that.

6:16

You can open your show that way. Instead

6:20

of the improv playing those promo videos, that's what they

6:22

play. I can ask for you. Please.

6:25

Yeah, please. Please let your mom and

6:27

dad know I'd like some of that footage. Okay,

6:30

so we're not drinking on the show today, but

6:32

do you ever drink alcohol or no? I don't

6:34

know. And if you do, we could

6:37

always pour them a little something. I only drink

6:39

whiskey. Do

6:41

you want some? I usually mix it with Coke because I'm

6:43

a bitch. No, that's you're not a bitch

6:45

at all. We have Coke in there. Let's get it. Will you get him

6:47

a Coke out of there? There's got to be a Coke in there, right?

6:49

But you're not a bitch. I

6:52

talked to a master distiller at

6:54

Buffalo Trace, right? And he said to me, I asked,

6:56

what's the right way to have bourbon,

6:59

whiskey? And he said, anyway, you like

7:01

it. Ice, no ice, Coke, no Coke.

7:03

Yeah. And I, I like it

7:05

straight because I'm a man. Because I'm

7:07

a full grown man. I'm not a little belial.

7:09

We call it's not the bitch. The word bitch

7:11

is now it's called belial now, a little bit

7:13

like you and your beard. Don't

7:16

be mad. You can't grow facial hair. That's not my

7:19

fault. I'll grow one one day. Oh, no, you know,

7:21

you won't. I'll fucking show you. Oh, yeah. You're going

7:23

to show me one day. You're going to grow a

7:25

beard. All right. I want to see it. You're 30.

7:27

You look so young, man. That's incredible. Good

7:29

for you. I've looked 40 since I

7:31

was a child. I shave today for

7:34

the first time in three weeks and it was just

7:36

like, oh, you

7:41

have to just the chin strap. You have just the

7:43

chin strap grows in. This doesn't grow in. No, no

7:45

chance. Why, but, uh, Aaron,

7:47

why does the dog have a Canadian flag? Are

7:50

you Canadian? Oh, fuck. A

7:53

disabled Canadian? Does it get

7:55

any worse than that? I'm not disabled.

7:58

I'm just Canadian. All right. are

8:00

one and the same. I'm

8:02

half French. Ah, wee.

8:04

Wee. The

8:09

French part must be there, you've a super hairy bush.

8:11

Is that what it is? That's the French part? You've

8:13

never trimmed down here. I've seen it. It's a puffs

8:15

through his pants. Unless he's packing a machine

8:18

down there. Oh, he's looking.

8:20

Yeah. I

8:22

shave when I have sex. Oh, about once a year.

8:24

Okay, very good. So only once a year you'll let

8:26

the dog fuck you. Once a year, that's the only

8:29

time you can get it. The service dog

8:31

agency has a quota. Only once a year

8:33

I'm allowed to fuck him. Have

8:37

you, has Kill Tony ever hooked you up with a

8:39

girl? No, not directly. Oh, but

8:41

indirectly. Oh, Aaron, you bad boy.

8:44

You bad little boy, dude. You're

8:46

a naughty boy. One of them poked holes

8:49

in my condoms. No,

8:52

that's real. Holy shit. Somebody

8:55

poked holes in the condom. Oh,

8:58

he's gonna show me that. No way. He's got the

9:00

photo. You got to text that to me so I can show

9:02

it to the audience. Oh my

9:04

God, there's holes in the condom. That's insane.

9:07

They poked holes in the condom. They thought they were on a come

9:09

up, huh? They were thought they were gonna get a

9:12

what not sugar debt, like a saccharine daddy.

9:14

You're not a sugar daddy yet. You're

9:17

more like a stevia daddy, right? You're a

9:19

little off, just a little, a little off

9:21

to the side. So wait a minute. Did you, you

9:23

caught this person in the act? So you never

9:25

hooked up with them or did this happen? You

9:27

hooked up and then you found out afterwards. That's

9:30

an unbelievable story. I've

9:32

never had that happen to me. So poke a hole

9:34

in the condom. That's crazy talk. Aspartame daddy. Here's

9:37

my aspartame daddy. There he is. Little cancer kid.

9:40

I found out later. Oh wow.

9:42

That's awful. My God. So

9:45

you could be out there having more babies with cerebral palsy.

9:47

You could be spreading the good

9:49

word, huh? No, there's no

9:51

baby. Yeah. Yeah.

9:54

He says a prayer. He's, he's crossing

9:56

off to the good Lord. That's

9:58

wild though. I, that, that kind of. shine

12:00

all those guys. So good for you. You

12:02

don't have to say anything. I'll take it from here. Aaron,

12:06

imagine if you had two hands on that thing, how fast this

12:08

would go. That is amazing. I

12:12

really like you though, man. Everything I've seen with you is

12:14

incredible. The solo tour is good though. That's the way that,

12:17

I mean look, to differentiate yourself is

12:19

important, right? Because you get on those shows and there's

12:21

a lot of different kinds of comics and you don't

12:23

want to get grouped in with everybody. You want to

12:25

kind of be your own guy. And you are your

12:27

own performer. Now do you do an hour? You got

12:29

a whole hour right now? I like that. Wow. Are

12:32

you going to shoot a special? Yeah,

12:35

it's an overwhelming feeling, huh? There's

12:38

a difference between like a club hour and like

12:40

a Netflix special with like a theme and cohesive

12:42

painting, you know. Yeah, yeah,

12:44

of course. No, you're right. I mean, well that's the whole thing

12:46

is, hours

12:49

in the club are so much different

12:51

because they're

12:54

more interactive. There's nothing like

12:56

live stand up. Live comedy is by far the best.

12:58

That's why it's really hard to create a cohesive hour.

13:00

That's why it takes a lot of people a long

13:02

time to do them. And that's

13:04

why they never really turn out the way that anybody wants. I don't care

13:06

who it is. You ask Burr and

13:08

all these guys, you know, the biggest names

13:10

in the game, they all are like, yeah, I would have tweaked

13:12

this or I would have tweaked this or I would have tweaked

13:15

that. That's what's hard because once it's done, it's done. But with

13:17

live, it's so unhinged, it's so

13:19

free. Dan Soder said to me one time,

13:21

you know, they're getting it right from the tap.

13:23

That's the best part about anything live, you know.

13:26

It's right from the source. It's unfiltered. Perfectionism is

13:28

also like impossible cause. The hour is never good

13:30

enough. It's true. It's absolutely true. That's

13:34

the problem is you probably have that in your bones.

13:36

You're probably a kid who was, you

13:38

were specific about everything you really wanted to do. You're

13:41

really concise with what your comedy is, what I've

13:44

seen of you online. I can

13:46

tell that you care. So what's hard is relinquishing

13:49

this, you know,

13:51

this control. That's really what it is. You're just giving up

13:53

all that control. What part

13:55

of Canada did you grow up in? Let me guess and just nod your

13:57

head if I'm right. Ready? West coast or east

13:59

coast? West? East? No. East

14:01

Coast. Toronto. Montreal. No, Montreal, you said

14:03

half French. Quebec. You're a Quebecian for

14:05

sure. I know that. You

14:07

said there was some French in there. Northern Ontario?

14:10

Northern Ontario. New Brunswick.

14:14

North Bay. Oh, North Bay.

14:16

Oh, right. Right.

14:18

They have the same water source as Flint. Cam

14:20

was actually the first black guy I ever met.

14:23

Really? Cam Patterson was the first black kid

14:25

you ever met? Wow. Now, what

14:27

did that feel like? Because

14:30

you're truly colorblind then. You don't know anything about

14:32

black people. You never grew up with them. What

14:35

was that like the first time you met a black guy? I'm

14:37

kidding, but yeah, no. North Bay was

14:40

very white. He

14:42

says he's kidding, but you know.

14:45

Give me the statistics of

14:47

North Bay, Canada. I guarantee

14:49

you it's 96% white. When

14:53

I was young, it was 99.9%. Oh

14:55

my God. Yeah. So you had one

14:57

black guy. Yeah. It's

15:00

always just one black dude. One

15:02

black dude who worked at the school. Didn't like

15:04

him very much. Oh my God, Aaron. The

15:08

only black guy in town you didn't like, Aaron.

15:11

Jeez. He believed me? Yeah.

15:14

I do. I believe that. Yeah. I believe that.

15:16

How many? What is it? What's the stats of

15:18

North Bay? How many people are there? What does

15:20

it say? There's lots of meth there. Lots of

15:22

meth. Oh, really? Did you ever do meth? You

15:25

ever try it, Aaron? You ever dabble? No. Oh,

15:27

come on. I think you're lying. Have you

15:30

tried any drugs? Yeah, you

15:32

have. A lot of them. Oh, wow. All right.

15:34

We talking. Okay. You

15:36

just say no when

15:40

I've covered it. Weed,

15:42

I know, is a yes. Acid?

15:46

No. Mushrooms? Yeah.

15:50

He smiled at that one. Ketamine?

15:53

No. What's

15:56

some other fun ones? Ecstasy?

15:59

Molly? I know you've done that, yeah I

16:01

know you've done that. Poppers. Poppers,

16:03

yeah poppers, yeah he's done those.

16:08

What's the one drug you haven't done? Heroin, you've

16:10

never done heroin. Oh, maybe you have. I tried

16:12

to do coke but I exhaled and blew it

16:15

away and I got kicked out. Oh

16:22

god. That's funny man.

16:24

Well, don't do coke. No coke is not good for you

16:26

anyway because it's got fentanyl in it. Fentanyl is

16:28

that's what's killing everybody. You don't want to do that shit.

16:31

Yeah, I don't really do drugs, just

16:33

mushrooms. Mushrooms are good, yes they're good

16:36

right. Now, when

16:38

you do mushrooms, do you like doing them with

16:40

a group of people or alone?

16:42

With close friends. Close friends only, yeah and you

16:45

got to have a trip sitter. Do you ever

16:47

do that? You hire one person out of your

16:49

group to be a trip sitter? No. Last time

16:51

I did mushrooms we went to the dog park

16:53

and I was running around the park half naked

16:55

throwing sticks for my dog and laughing. What?

16:58

The people watching that would have been like? Yeah,

17:02

what is this dude doing? Man,

17:04

man, those mushrooms are so good they got them walking all funny.

17:07

Look at that man, that's nuts.

17:10

That's awesome. Aaron, no

17:14

more of that. No more than half naked in the

17:16

dog park, okay? That's enough. That's where

17:18

it ends. I don't really do them anymore

17:20

though. I mean, I'll do mushrooms

17:22

once in a while but I

17:25

think I've all but quit experimenting. I'm 41

17:28

soon and I think that's kind of, I don't

17:30

know, I've had a lot of fun. Now I like

17:32

a little bit of a sip of this and that

17:34

but I don't know, for the most part I

17:36

don't really want to do anything anymore. It's just it's hard, it's

17:39

harder to recover too because especially if I

17:42

party partying. Comedy made me kind of

17:44

quit drinking. That's interesting, it made

17:46

me start drinking. I still drink but

17:48

like not a lot. Well good,

17:50

a lot of times people get into comedy and they drink way

17:52

too much and then it becomes... It's just too accessible. Right, it

17:54

is. Well, it's way, yeah, we work in a bar. I mean,

17:57

truly we work in a bar. If you know anybody that works

17:59

in bars it's... kind

38:00

of like if you say anything you're a

38:02

dick. If I say like hey man don't

38:04

grab me please. There was one guy who

38:06

like pulled me downstairs in Tennessee or something

38:08

and I'm like. Yeah

38:11

what the fuck are you doing? Yeah you get

38:13

seriously hurt. Yeah that's not that's not okay. Yeah

38:15

that's the rule to all the fans. I

38:18

some fan was like oh I know you don't like

38:20

taking photos. I was like where of course I like

38:22

taking photos. I just don't want some drunk guy grabbing

38:24

at me being aggressive but that's I

38:27

feel like that's a that's a pretty common request

38:29

that someone would say don't

38:31

be an asshole and I'll would love to

38:33

take a photo or say hi and or

38:35

just hang out. Even drunk girls like I

38:37

had a girlfriend and this girl kept grabbing

38:39

my ass and I'm like listen bitch. Listen

38:44

bitch I already got a

38:46

girl back off. You got a

38:48

nice shitter though that's why you got a nice butt

38:50

don't you? You got a nice butt don't you Aaron

38:52

Belisle? That's your problem pal. You walk outside with that

38:54

thing expect it to be grabbed. Yeah

38:56

that's your fault buddy right? Isn't that what

38:59

they say? What did you expect? You went

39:01

outside wearing those nice blue pants. You think

39:03

I wasn't gonna grab that juicy ass? That's

39:05

on you pal. That's your fault. Get

39:08

a worse ass. Fair

39:10

enough. Thank you.

39:13

I walk up the street and I make everyone else drool

39:15

too. You're

39:19

not the only one out there drooling baby. You're not

39:21

the only one. All those chicks are looking at that

39:23

juicy Belisle. Look at that juice on

39:25

Belisle. Look at that badunk. What's that

39:28

called? What do the kids call it? What's

39:30

the butt? What's the other word for butt

39:32

now? The gat. Look at that gat on

39:34

Belisle. That's what it

39:36

is. You got a nice gee-hat. Well that's your fault man. Wear

39:40

baggier clothes. That's

39:42

on you. All right

39:45

what is it? What is he finding out about

39:47

your last name Belisle? Belisle is derived from an

39:49

island off the coast of France. That

39:52

means beautiful isle. Do you

39:54

know this obviously? Yes. Yes. Well I don't know.

39:56

I mean some people don't know the history of

39:58

their own name. It means beautiful island.