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Welcome to the Storiespire podcast.

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I'm Mary R. Snyder. I am your host

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and storytelling strategist. I'm

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here with expert advice, actionable

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tips, and frameworks to create

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the stories that will inspire

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hearts and minds because

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stories change the world. Let's

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get into it. Hey, before

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we get started, I want to

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remind you of something. Have

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you said yes to my email,

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my newsletter, the Story Spire News?

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It is a weekly newsletter with

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a link to one of the episodes,

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the episode of the week, along with

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a storytelling tip, maybe

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something fun, a resource I found,

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or an inspirational story just to brighten

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up your email box. And you can

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do that simply by going to storyspire.

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com and clicking on

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Join Mary. I'd love for you to join

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me there. Let's get into

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it. Love conversations.

1:01

I love talking with people. I

1:03

even love talking on the telephone. I

1:05

know that's a lost art. You see,

1:07

I grew up before we had social

1:09

media. A lot of us did. And

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our way of communicating was

1:15

via telephone. Funny story.

1:18

I worked in the

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paging industry, if you remember that, pagers,

1:23

beepers, and we had some of

1:25

the very first text

1:27

pagers. You had to text

1:30

us through the switchboard.

1:33

So you had to go to the switchboard and our switchboard operator

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would text us like, Maybe

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our next sales call. This was when I was in

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sales or maybe I needed

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to go do something for a client and she would

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say, go to ABC

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hospital and talk to Joe. He

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needs to speak to you about XYZ.

1:51

Well, we had this one receptionist and I just

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loved her and she would text

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us, call me. She

1:59

completely missed the purpose of

2:01

the text of our message

2:04

beepers. But

2:06

she was a conversationalist. She

2:09

really wanted to tell you the nuance of

2:11

this, like, Hey, Joe called from ABC

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Hospital and he is not happy.

2:16

She wanted to give you more than we were allowed

2:18

in these few little lines. And

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I think the art of conversation is lost.

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You see, I grew up around women

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who loved good conversation

2:28

and storytelling. My mother

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and my Aunt Edna would sit

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at a table, my Aunt Edna lived in

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California, we were in Alabama, and she would

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come home once or twice a year.

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Make that long trek across the country

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driving and they would

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sit up to wee hours of the morning.

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My aunt Edna would be smoking her

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Virginia Slims. I can still see

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it they would have their hair wrapped

2:53

because they had up do's and they would wrap their hair

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up in chiffon scarves

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they would sit and talk and

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Edna would be smoking those cigarettes,

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piling that ashtray full, smoke

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billowing around the table. My mother

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and her both would be drinking day

3:09

old coffee. And telling

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stories. Now these women love

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stories almost as much as I love that

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day old coffee. My

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mom would pert coffee on the

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stove if you have ever been around

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somebody who pert coffee. So the coffee grounds,

3:25

the water heats up, it boils, it goes up to

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the coffee grounds and back down. And

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then she would leave that sitting on the stove.

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All day, so perk it at six

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in the morning and drink it, and then she would

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come back, turn it back on, that

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water would perk again, go

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back through those coffee grounds, and

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I'm telling you, you could stand

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a spoon up in it, it was like syrup coffee,

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but they loved it, and they drank it black, these

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were women who loved a good cup of coffee,

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and they loved a great story. I

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sat at that table inhaling that secondhand

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smoke and learned

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so much about my family history

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in those conversations. Storytelling

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is conversations. When

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you stand on a stage

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to tell a story, you're

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in the midst of a conversation.

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I can hear your wheels turning going.

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I'm standing in front of 50 people,

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100 people, 500, 5, 000 people.

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How is this a conversation?

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Simply it's your turn to talk now.

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So how do you stand up in front of

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people and act as if it

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is just the two of you? You

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have a conversation with one

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person in that audience. I'm

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going to give you a few tips and tricks

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to make this a little bit easier. I

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want you to talk to one person,

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just one, not

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a room, and use the word

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you. Now, we're not going to use

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that in an accusatory form like, you

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said this, or you better do that,

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or, you know what, if you don't,

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That's not the power of you. The

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power of you is

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I don't know about you, but

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this really moved my heart. Maybe

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you've felt the same way. When

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you saw people living in abject

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squalor, maybe

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you haven't walked this

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road, but I know

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you have overcome difficulties in

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this life. Do

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you see what I did? Now let

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me do it a little bit different. Hey,

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has anyone here ever overcome

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something? We

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can make a difference, or

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you can make a difference.

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Right now, today, you

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can do this

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thing, and it will change these lives.

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Right now, if we will all come

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together, we can make a difference. Do

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you see how you can dodge a we, but

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you can't dodge a you? You

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can't hide from a you

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statement. Your audience

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can't hide from a you statement and

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not that you're trying to call

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them out, but you're trying to

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bring them into the conversation.

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So simple questions like, have

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you ever felt like that? Has

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this ever been your reality? Maybe

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you haven't experienced this, but

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I know you've experienced that.

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They then become a part of

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the conversation. You can see

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the head nods in the crowd as people

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nod as you talk. And

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they lean forward in their seat

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because they are waiting for the next

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thing you will say. That's

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the power of conversation. I

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sat around that table for years and years. Starting

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when I was probably six

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or seven or even younger and

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I grew up sitting around that table. I can remember

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being 12, 13, a young

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teenager and sitting

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crisscross in a kitchen chair

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that was incredibly uncomfortable by the way,

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but let's just take a moment and say,

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wow, I could sit crisscross for hours

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and not be wounded. That has not happened

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today. But sit criss

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cross and listen to these women tell

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the stories of Ms. Adkins.

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Now, I never met Ms. Adkins, but

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here's what I know. Ms. Adkins

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outlived four husbands. And

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there is some rumor that Ms.

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Adkins may have had something

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to do with those four

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men not making

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it to senior adulthood.

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No proof, but I can tell you the

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stories. And

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as they would unpack those stories,

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my mother might talk for 10 or 15

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minutes, tell my aunt

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all about what happened that day at work,

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or some incredible thing

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that she had experienced, in that season

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they had been a part of. She might talk

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for 10, 15, 20 minutes unpacking

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the story while my aunt sat

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there and went, oh yeah, mm hmm. And

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she nodded, and she grinned, and

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she, ooh, wow, and she

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cheered her on much like

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your audience does when you

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are standing on a stage unpacking

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your story. So I want

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you to think about that. I want you to consider

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that while you're standing on that

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stage unpacking that story.

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You're very much sitting at a table. Now,

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it may not be full of Virginia Slim cigarettes

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and an ashtray overflowing with butts or

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two cups of incredibly strong coffee,

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but it's a table that you've set. It's

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the table that is about your story.

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Now, if it's my table, there's probably

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a really good cup of coffee with a whole

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lot of great creamer in it. No

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cigarettes. There may

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or may not be something sweet

8:59

on that table. That's my

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table. That's how I'm

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going to communicate with you. I'm going to

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talk for 10 or 15 minutes I'm

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going to lean forward so as

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you prepare your next story

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for a stage, For a newsletter,

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for a campaign, or for a video,

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I want you to think about this.

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You're at your table. What does it look

9:23

like? What's sitting on it? Here's

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what I hope's not sitting on it. Your phone.

9:29

Put that away. Let's just

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have a conversation like my mom

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and my Aunt Edna had back

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when there weren't cell phones. And

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they were uninterrupted. hours

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of sharing life back and

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forth. When you step

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on a stage, when you write a newsletter, when you

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create a video, you're talking directly

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to someone, you're sharing your story

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with someone. To connect with their hearts,

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tell it to just one. And

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I promise you, you will notice

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the difference. I hope you have

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an incredible week. I hope

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your stories inspire hearts and

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change lives in

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every way possible. Bye

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for now.