Episode Transcript
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more details. Simultaneously, the hardest
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moments of my life are coupled
1:35
with the most beautiful moments of
1:37
my life every time. Yeah.
1:39
It actually became kind of like a joke during
1:42
the making of this album because when I
1:45
would walk into the studio and I, you know,
1:47
people would see on my face immediately if I'm
1:49
having anxiety or panic and they would be like,
1:52
we're going to write a good song today. each
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them to make their day. The number
2:50
one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty.
2:52
Jay Shetty. He was the only
2:54
Jay Shetty. Hey
2:57
everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I
3:00
am so grateful to be with you in
3:02
this very, very special place today with a
3:05
human that I'm so lucky to call a friend. And
3:08
it's kind of strange sitting opposite
3:10
him with a microphone in front of
3:12
me because this is not usually how we spend time together.
3:15
And I can honestly say that this individual is
3:18
someone you already know. He needs no introduction, but
3:20
whenever he speaks, you hear truth in
3:22
his voice. Whenever he sings,
3:25
you hear his heart through it. Whenever
3:28
he's around anyone, I've seen him light
3:30
up every room he walks into and
3:33
radiate goodness and genuineness around him.
3:35
And his new music is gonna
3:37
do that in such a powerful,
3:40
beautiful, thoughtful way. And
3:43
I can't wait for you to hear it. And
3:45
we're so lucky that we get to be in
3:47
the womb of where his work's
3:50
being created right now. I'm
3:52
sitting down with my dear friend, incredible
3:54
musician, phenomenal human, and
3:57
all around great dude, Sean
3:59
Manley. Sean, it's good to see
4:01
you man. Crazy.
4:04
Finally. Finally.
4:08
After four years of hikes.
4:11
It feels like longer than four years man. It
4:14
does feel like four years but yesterday night I went
4:17
back and traced back the first time we messaged. 2020,
4:20
yeah. So I was like, yeah, I thought it
4:23
was longer too but it's been
4:25
a lot of deep time though. Yeah, it's
4:27
been crazy. And I mean, we've been
4:29
talking about wanting to do this but
4:33
yeah, I knew the right time would just
4:35
appear and it just feels like so the
4:38
right time. And I guess
4:40
for everyone, you guys don't really know that
4:42
like the last four years, Jay and I
4:45
had this beautiful relationship where we go
4:47
on these hikes and we just kind
4:50
of catch up and yeah, man,
4:52
you've just been, you've been beyond
4:54
there for me for so long. So I love
4:56
you and I'm just, I'm so
4:58
grateful and this is so important to me and
5:00
I'm honored to be here and it's just all
5:02
the things man. Yeah, truly. Brother, thank
5:05
you for saying that the feelings mutual I
5:07
think it's really interesting when you
5:09
connect with someone and you're
5:11
being kind and saying I was there for you but I think you've equally been there
5:13
for me. Hope so. And
5:16
you've helped me see things in myself that I wouldn't
5:18
have seen if I didn't know you. And
5:21
I think watching you reflect through
5:23
the process you've been through in the last four years
5:25
and watching you be so
5:29
inward focused kind of
5:32
forced me to do more self work as well.
5:34
And so I think it's been a
5:36
beautiful mutual relationship, but let's dive straight into it. I actually
5:38
want you to share with people where
5:40
we are because this is not my studio
5:43
and we're in this beautiful place and I
5:45
think you're the best person to give us
5:47
a visual tour if you're watching and if
5:49
you're listening. Yeah, if you're listening, we're sitting
5:52
in the middle of a live room
5:54
in a studio called the Clubhouse in
5:57
upstate Rhinebeck, New York. when
6:00
you're seeing all the beautiful candles and stuff. This
6:02
is probably one of my
6:04
favorite places in the whole world. This is
6:07
the room that,
6:09
oh man, I mean, I've
6:12
made all of my albums here, all of my
6:14
music, and I've had some
6:17
of the most magical moments of
6:20
my life in this room. And
6:22
so I'm gonna be
6:25
probably a little emotional just like even sitting
6:27
in here, just cause as I sit here
6:29
and as we talk, it's just memories kind
6:31
of circling around of
6:35
just like time.
6:38
And yeah,
6:41
it's an amazing studio. Yeah,
6:44
you can feel it. I felt it when I
6:46
walked in and I can feel it right
6:48
now. There's a different energy in here. So I'm so
6:50
grateful that you allowed us to come in
6:52
and share this with the
6:54
rest of the world through this interview. And it's
6:57
really beautiful actually being in a space where
6:59
an artist creates and moves and cries
7:02
and breathes. And
7:05
I think it's rare, you don't really get access to
7:07
that. I think you go see artists in a concert
7:09
or in a public space, but you don't really get
7:11
this. And I thought where
7:13
I wanted to start this interview is kind of roll back
7:16
to your announcement about
7:18
tour. And you talk about this in
7:21
your song, Who I Am, you say, and I'm gonna be looking
7:23
at my notes a lot because I haven't
7:25
yet learned all your lyrics off my heart. And I know the
7:27
fans are gonna be really heartbroken. How
7:30
have you not done this yet? But if I'm
7:32
on my phone, I'm reading lyrics back to you.
7:34
So in Who I Am, it says, it
7:37
broke my heart when I canceled tour, had
7:40
my soul and my heart going back and forth.
7:42
And I wanted to read the message you actually put up
7:45
on Instagram at the time because I remember
7:47
it going out. We were talking about it.
7:49
We were talking the night before. You
7:52
were actually the person I texted at
7:54
like 1 a.m. that night
7:56
when I was just in complete spin
7:58
of what to do. And
8:01
I just remember feeling so much like,
8:04
I think in those situations, it
8:07
feels really hard to
8:10
ask people to give you advice or
8:13
to give you an opinion because
8:15
it's such a big deal, you
8:17
know, to do something like that. And I
8:19
remember assuming you were gonna reply something along
8:21
the lines of, you can do
8:23
it, you know, just, you know, you got it, like
8:25
we can do this, you know, we can figure out
8:27
a way. And you
8:30
were just like, in the
8:32
most loving way, I can't remember exactly something along the
8:34
lines of just like, whatever you need, take care of
8:36
yourself, you know, and I remember
8:38
when I read that, my whole body just like sunk
8:40
into the bed and I was like, oh God, like,
8:43
yeah, that was really important to me. So thank you for that.
8:46
But yeah, so sorry, go on. No, yeah,
8:48
no, no, no, I'm so glad that you
8:50
remember that. I remember you telling
8:52
me that, you know, on tour
8:54
an artist has to do something like, or
8:57
someone like yourself has to do like 150 shows minimum.
9:01
And I remember asking you, at what
9:04
point do you feel like you can't do
9:06
another show? And you
9:08
said around like 50. And
9:11
I was just like, what? I was like, so wait, you have
9:13
to do 100? And it was so funny because I went on
9:15
my world tour last year, I only did 40 shows. And
9:19
I felt it around 33. And
9:21
I was like, wow, do you want me to have to do
9:23
it? It probably has something to do with relative to when the
9:25
end is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, for 50s, I
9:27
like it. Like any race, you know. And
9:29
so anyway, you said, there were two times you
9:32
posted about it, but this one, you said, this
9:34
breaks my heart to have to say this, but
9:36
unfortunately I'm going to have to postpone the next
9:38
three weeks of shows. I've
9:41
been touring since I was 15. And
9:43
to be honest, it's always been difficult to be
9:45
on the road away from friends and family. After
9:48
a few years off the road, I felt like I was
9:50
ready to dive back in, but the
9:52
decision was premature. And unfortunately the toll
9:54
of the road and the pressure
9:56
has caught up to me and I've hit a breaking point.
9:59
After speaking. I'm speaking with my team and
10:01
health professionals. I need to take some time
10:03
to heal and take care of myself and
10:05
my mental health first and foremost. As
10:08
soon as there are more updates, I promise you, I
10:10
will let you know. Love you guys. Yeah. Walk
10:13
me through how hard that
10:15
time was for you mentally,
10:18
physically, even before having to
10:20
send that message because I think when people see
10:22
that message, they think you've just decided it. Yeah.
10:25
But really, it's something you've been holding
10:28
for months, weeks, maybe even years.
10:30
Yeah. And I think
10:33
the reality is anyone who
10:35
does anything at a
10:37
high level knows that it's hard. It's
10:39
hard. Anything you wanna do that's extraordinary
10:41
is hard. So there are gonna be
10:43
these moments where it feels really hard
10:46
and it feels like you can't do
10:48
it. And that, I think every
10:50
athlete or performer or anyone knows that there
10:52
are all these dips and these peaks and
10:54
that's just part of it. The
10:56
problem is
10:58
that for me, the
11:01
hardest part about being in a state
11:04
of, I
11:06
don't even know the right word to describe
11:08
it, but you could say depression, you could
11:10
say anxiety, you could say just general darkness
11:14
or lowness. The
11:17
hardest thing about that is not the
11:20
feeling that way. It's that the feeling
11:23
that way makes you
11:25
look at your life through that
11:27
lens and therefore all the love that's around
11:30
you and all the people who are loving
11:32
you and supporting you, you can't
11:34
even see that love anymore. And
11:37
so it's all just kind of getting
11:40
consumed by this feeling. I
11:42
mean, I've done a lot of tours and that
11:44
was, and I've been in hard
11:47
places before. And I think
11:49
the reality was that it just
11:52
became really, really clear to me that
11:56
I needed to diversify in life and
11:59
that since I was a kid, as a kid,
12:01
my entire life had been about one
12:03
thing. It had been about performing and
12:05
making music and just a constant kind
12:08
of cycle. It
12:11
was amazing, but the reality
12:13
is that, I
12:15
really do believe all your
12:17
eggs in one basket is a dangerous way. And
12:21
I was the number one
12:24
rooter of like, I have no plan V, I
12:26
don't have plan V. And
12:28
I had nowhere to go when things were
12:30
getting hard. I didn't have other aspects
12:33
of life that I felt connected to that I could
12:35
have like, leaned into to have
12:37
a little bit of like a break from
12:39
touring and come back and just find that
12:41
balance. And I knew
12:44
there was only one way of doing that. And
12:46
it was by step-by-step, just
12:48
like creating a life. And
12:50
so, yeah, I mean, canceling
12:52
that tour was by
12:55
far the hardest decision
12:58
of my life and
13:01
by far the greatest decision of my life.
13:03
And it gave
13:05
me a life, you know, it really, it
13:08
gave me time to discover so much about
13:10
myself. And
13:14
yeah, I'm smiling now because it's so far
13:16
away. But it, yeah,
13:19
it's so much for me, you know. Who
13:21
did you feel? I know later on you talk about
13:23
in the same song, this
13:25
idea of I feel
13:27
pressure from the people that I love and it hurts. But
13:30
I know I got to do it, I got
13:32
to put me first. Like who do you feel
13:35
you were letting down at the time, yourself
13:37
and others? Yeah, I think the reality is
13:39
it's not just as the artist, it's not
13:41
just you that sacrifices everything to do that.
13:43
You have a team of almost a hundred
13:46
people who are away from their families for
13:48
a year. And
13:50
they're every day working,
13:52
they're not sleeping, they're
13:55
sacrificing everything to put this show on. That
13:58
was one of the hardest pills to swallow. It
14:00
was just like, oh man. And they
14:03
are excited to, you
14:05
gotta be an insane
14:08
person to be a touring crew
14:10
or anyone on tour. You
14:12
have to truly love it. You have
14:14
to understand that this is profoundly greater
14:16
than you and what's happening is magical.
14:19
And so, and it was like
14:21
not letting people down and we've worked so hard,
14:23
it was like, oh man, people were excited. People
14:26
were proud of what they created. And
14:30
that was the hard part, yeah. Yeah, it
14:32
feels like, I remember when we would talk
14:34
about it then, there was also this weight
14:36
around it where it was like, you'd
14:39
had this growth period in your life where as you
14:41
said, you've been doing this since you were 15. And
14:44
then all of a sudden you were kind of getting
14:47
the growth opportunity to
14:49
say, I get to make my own decisions.
14:52
And I remember like just learning from you
14:54
about that dynamic of young
14:56
people who become successful and famous
14:58
and very, very early on,
15:01
it's like, you're still a kid. And then all
15:03
of a sudden you're like, oh, well, am I allowed
15:05
to make my own decisions? Am I allowed to say
15:07
I don't wanna do something? Walk me through a bit
15:09
of that reflective process because
15:11
I think it's not an age thing.
15:13
I think we all go through this arc in our life where
15:17
we go, am I gonna be the one to
15:19
make the decisions now? Am I gonna
15:21
take the responsibility? Yeah, and I think, yeah,
15:24
that's the hardest part is it
15:27
really comes down to the moment
15:29
you're prepared to take responsibility for your
15:32
life and for everything that goes wrong
15:34
and for everything that goes right. And
15:37
it's hard, you know, cause
15:41
your whole life you either you have your parents
15:43
to either rely on, like, you know, you look
15:45
at them and they go, okay, yeah, well, they
15:47
said, it's always kind of
15:49
like you can deflect that responsibility onto
15:51
someone else, whether it's my manager or
15:54
someone. And
15:56
yeah, that was just
15:58
like... this is
16:00
gonna be a big decision I make and then
16:03
there's gonna be repercussions here and I'm gonna have
16:05
to be responsible for it. And yeah,
16:09
it's kind of just like that. And
16:13
the beautiful thing is that once I
16:15
did that, it felt like now, okay,
16:18
that was the kind of big one. And
16:20
then every other little decision, it was kind
16:22
of like, well, here I am again, making
16:24
another decision. And you kind
16:26
of go like, I'm sorry to bring my
16:29
sister into this, for you,
16:31
Aliyah, but like, she's like, oh,
16:34
I don't wanna, she's like, I just not
16:36
have the responsibility. And I'm like, that's not
16:38
how it works. Once you start
16:40
taking responsibility, you just gotta keep
16:42
taking responsibility. And it's
16:44
simultaneously grueling, but also so
16:46
much more rewarding because when
16:49
it goes well, you know, it's
16:52
you who put yourself in that position. So
16:54
yeah. You said something beautiful just now.
16:56
You said it was the hardest decision
16:58
and it was the greatest decision. Have
17:00
you found those two things often go together
17:02
or would you say that's not
17:04
the case? I find
17:07
that simultaneously, the hardest moments of
17:09
my life are coupled with the
17:11
most beautiful moments of my life
17:13
every time, yeah. It
17:15
actually became kind of like a joke
17:18
during this making of this album, because when
17:21
I would walk into the studio and
17:23
people would see on my face immediately
17:25
if I'm having anxiety or panic, and
17:29
they would be like, we're gonna write a good
17:31
song today. Like every time it was like, there
17:34
was some sort of healing crisis that had to
17:36
happen. I had to like get through this pain,
17:39
this fear, this anxiety, these tears,
17:41
this anger, something. And on
17:43
the other end of that was just like
17:45
plain truth and plain truth was
17:47
just the best ingredients for a song.
17:50
So yeah, I do. How does an artist ever find
17:53
peace then? That's a great question.
17:56
I think like I would be following
17:59
through. And I do follow through even
18:01
if there's no song to write, you know, I think
18:04
we're so taught especially in so many societies
18:06
and cultures But like I feel like in
18:08
the West were so taught to just
18:11
there's a time and place for things and
18:16
If you're in an interview and tears are about to
18:19
come if you're in an interview and anger is about
18:21
to happen You can't let
18:23
that happen. And I really have noticed
18:25
that like if you can just like
18:28
Express it in an honest calm way
18:30
Most likely a more beautiful
18:32
thing is gonna come through that than what you desired,
18:34
you know I would do that if
18:36
there's no song that came out of it. That's kind of my
18:38
way of moving through life it's like I had to the gym
18:41
and I'm like if I walk into the gym today and Crying
18:44
in the gym. That's the better outcome, you
18:46
know, so You
18:49
do live like that. I do And
18:52
I haven't said it yet, but you know this
18:54
this album it's it's so fascinating
18:57
for me to see it from the moment that we're
18:59
talking about now to then its creation because I Remember
19:03
when it was you trying
19:05
to figure out your voice and figure out who
19:07
you are as an artist as a person as
19:09
a human And now when I listen to
19:11
it, it almost sounds so effortless
19:14
Yeah, and true. Yeah and authentic in
19:16
this really flowing way kind of like
19:18
this channeling Yeah experience of even listening
19:20
to it and I couldn't believe it
19:22
when I listened to it because I
19:25
was like Wow, like you did
19:27
it like that. That's how I felt like I was
19:29
like you did it and then something like it was even it far
19:32
superseded any of The
19:35
expectations I would have had in the conversations we
19:37
had of how you were thinking about it well,
19:39
yeah, and it's like, you know, you have the
19:41
idea of If
19:43
someone if I said to you, you know six months
19:45
ago I want to make the most honest album I've
19:47
ever made Then you start having ideas of
19:49
what that sounds like and what that looks like and
19:52
then at some point actually in the studio At
19:56
some point when you're done with all the
19:58
ideas of what you think you
20:00
are trying to force it to become, there's
20:03
a breaking point and you surrender to it and the
20:05
album starts to become what it's meant to be. And
20:07
you just have to like roll with that,
20:10
you know? Yeah, and that's hard
20:12
though. It's super hard. How do you trust that? How
20:14
do you trust that? Because I feel like we're living...
20:16
It's exhausting. Yeah, I think. Because
20:18
we're living at this time where
20:20
I feel like everything's perfectly engineered
20:22
and manufactured and even authenticity is
20:25
programmed and developed. And then you're trying to
20:27
say, well, no, I actually want to create
20:30
something like that, but then how
20:32
do I not engineer it? Something that I
20:34
learned on this process was
20:36
just like the foundation, like
20:38
the first brick you lay, if that brick
20:41
is a brick of like authentic
20:43
truth, if you work really hard to get to
20:45
that place and that first brick you lay is
20:48
truth, each brick after that will be much easier,
20:50
you know? And like,
20:52
I remember it felt
20:54
like as long as every word I say
20:57
comes out of my... The writers
20:59
I was working with, everyone became so attuned
21:01
to me saying something.
21:03
And if I was like saying
21:05
it and then I was kind of quencing after,
21:07
if I was saying it and then it just
21:09
didn't sound right coming out my mouth, we would
21:11
just be like, all right, that's not it. Like
21:13
it needs to have that, like you said, that
21:16
natural flow. And
21:19
that first
21:21
brick just like set a foundation for
21:24
truth to just be it. And
21:27
now we're at the point where anything that
21:30
really isn't in that space is so
21:33
obvious that we can't even put
21:35
it next to it, you know? And so it's
21:37
just really, if you start there, it's so much easier to
21:39
build, so much harder to start in
21:41
a kind of place of, I
21:44
wanna be perceived this way and
21:46
then have foundation for truth
21:49
to just be it. And
21:51
now we're at the point where anything that
21:55
really isn't in that space is so obvious
21:57
that we can't even put it next to
21:59
it. And so it's just really,
22:01
if you start there, it's so much easier
22:03
to build, so much harder to
22:05
start in a kind of place of,
22:08
I wanna be perceived this way. And
22:10
then halfway through that, be like, I want this to
22:13
feel like truth. And cause
22:15
it itself gets confused. Yeah,
22:17
I was saying this to Helena the other
22:19
day, yesterday when we were driving from
22:22
Boston last night, and
22:24
I was just saying that I'm at a point in my life
22:26
where I just want to experience.
22:30
I don't want to think about, it's
22:33
not that I wanna be irresponsible and
22:37
not think about consequences or repercussions, but
22:39
there are certain experiences that I wanna open myself
22:41
up to, regardless of how they're perceived
22:43
or how I may have perceived them in the past,
22:46
because that's the only way
22:48
I'm gonna actually get to
22:51
live. If I'm constantly curating
22:53
and perfectly managing every
22:55
part of my appearance,
22:57
perception, reputation, whatever else I
22:59
make, environment, I don't actually
23:01
get to live or breathe
23:03
or experience. And when
23:05
I hear you talk, I feel like that's something
23:07
I definitely learned from you because there's been this
23:09
part of you that's just
23:11
been so open to being all of yourself
23:14
and not having to pick. There
23:16
was one lyric where you
23:18
say in YYY, you say, I stepped off the stage
23:21
with nothing left, all the lies
23:23
are with my head, effing
23:26
with my head. What
23:29
were the lies? Oh, lights is the lyric.
23:31
Oh, sorry, my bad. You're gonna get the fans there.
23:33
Oh, my bad, there we go, I messed up. There
23:35
you go. There we go, there we go, I messed
23:37
up. No, it's the lights, yeah. I thought it was
23:39
lies, I heard lies. I mean, no lies, I mean,
23:42
maybe lies internally, but yeah, I think
23:44
the lights and metaphorically, I
23:46
think it was just more so, it
23:49
had so much to do with perception, just
23:51
this constant focus on what I look
23:54
like and
23:57
what I feel like to the world. And I
23:59
needed to, I... I didn't even
24:01
know at that point what
24:03
I felt like and what I looked
24:05
like to myself, you know? There
24:08
was a real stripping down process
24:10
that had to happen and took
24:12
me a long time, but up
24:15
until, I
24:17
would say the creation of this album, I don't
24:20
remember the last time I felt so like, just
24:24
myself, probably
24:26
the last time was when I was like nine or 10.
24:29
Honestly, yeah. What
24:32
was it about nine or 10 that felt so
24:34
true? Not
24:36
having the need
24:39
to like cover the layers of
24:42
what I was feeling, you know? I was just like
24:45
an expressing ball, you
24:47
know? Like similarly
24:49
to how, I probably like a
24:52
more emotional today similarly to
24:54
how I was when I was nine, you know? And
24:56
yeah, I guess just that not
24:59
having the words and
25:05
the stories that you've been told, you know, as
25:07
you start to grow up spinning in my head
25:09
and just expressing truth of who I am. I'm
25:12
lucky too, man. Like I know that a lot
25:14
of people, they're not surrounded
25:16
by people who are maybe super
25:19
accepting or embracing of that truth.
25:22
And I know that's hard. And
25:24
I think I have
25:26
a lot of compassion for that. And the reality is
25:28
that I wasn't around a lot
25:30
of people who were, and I think part
25:33
of starting to just like
25:35
strip back those layers is also to just
25:38
maneuver the people you're around in your life
25:40
and starting to be around people who you
25:42
can be like that with, and it just
25:44
becomes kind of a feedback loop of positive,
25:47
honest reinforcement. And then, you
25:50
know, you look around one day and you're
25:52
like, oh, there's people in this room like
25:55
really love Sean. You
25:57
know? Walk me through that discomfort.
26:00
because I think it's easy to jump from like a
26:02
canceled tour to I'm in the studio making new
26:04
music and we both know it wasn't like that.
26:07
Yeah, no, not at all. Walk me through. So
26:09
one thing in the discomfort you're saying is surrounding
26:11
yourself with people that allow
26:14
you to be yourself, allow you to be
26:18
and figure it out. What else
26:20
were like really important kind
26:22
of principles that guided you through that
26:24
no man's land, through that desert of
26:27
time? What was it for you that
26:30
kind of showed you that North Star
26:32
when things were dark? So many things
26:34
like, you know, I think the process
26:36
of like healing and moving through a
26:38
dense moment in your life is not
26:40
just sticking to one thing. It's really
26:43
using everything at your fingertips and
26:46
whether that was therapy or whether that
26:48
was like friendship or it was reading
26:50
or it was music or
26:52
what it was, you know, it
26:55
was just a mixture of all of it. And I
26:57
think the hardest thing for
27:00
me in my life has
27:05
been this kind of wanting
27:10
to always have the
27:12
perception of like strength
27:14
and altogether and kind of grounded
27:17
and still, you know. And
27:21
when I started
27:24
to like allow myself to really,
27:26
I think it's like
27:29
you got to really feel pain to
27:31
like let your ego get out
27:33
of the way when I started to really
27:35
allow myself to like lean on my
27:38
family and my friends and
27:40
also like just
27:43
reach out to people and be like, you
27:45
know, that was just such a
27:47
huge part of it, you know. I
27:49
didn't know at the time, but just
27:53
using the people around me to
27:55
support me was a huge, huge
27:57
part of it. Yeah,
28:02
and being open to not knowing
28:04
how to get through it and just
28:06
letting people maybe help me how they can,
28:08
you know, and they might have their own
28:11
way. And
28:14
yeah, the people, there's a song on the album called
28:16
Heavy and it's just so much of it is just
28:18
about letting people
28:22
who love you help you. You know, it's a hard, people
28:24
talk a lot about, it's hard to give love, it's hard
28:26
to be in that state. And then
28:28
like receiving love, like when love is in
28:30
front of you and it's trying to give
28:32
itself to you through someone, that's a hard
28:34
thing to receive. It's really hard, you know,
28:36
a lot of people, including myself, just like
28:38
want to freeze up and so
28:40
my new thing is kind of like instead of walking into
28:43
a room when I'm feeling bad,
28:46
holding it, the first thing I'll do is
28:48
just like literally like lean on someone, like
28:50
physically like, hey, can I have some love
28:52
and I need it? And that
28:54
changes it like shifts so much, you know. Sometimes
28:59
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31:03
Terms apply. Hi, I'm
31:05
Cindy Crawford, and I'm the founder of Meaningful
31:07
Beauty. Well, I don't know
31:09
about you, but like I never liked
31:11
being told, oh wow, you look so
31:13
good for your age, like why even
31:15
bother saying that? Why don't you just
31:18
say you look great at any age,
31:20
every age? That's what Meaningful
31:22
Beauty is all about. We create products
31:24
that make you feel confident in your
31:26
skin at the age you
31:28
are now. Meaningful Beauty,
31:30
beautiful skin at every age.
31:32
Learn more at meaningfulbeauty.com. Yeah,
31:39
that's so powerful. That's so powerful.
31:41
I love that, and I feel
31:44
like, I remember in the beginning when
31:46
we'd hang out, if you weren't feeling good, there'd be a
31:48
part of you be like, I don't think I want to
31:50
hang today. And then that switch of what you're saying, where
31:52
it's like, oh no, no matter how I feel, I
31:55
need to lean in. And I love that. That's
31:57
freeing. Like, if I can
32:00
I can only hang out with you when I'm
32:02
feeling still and at peace and coming from
32:04
a very high perspective. I am
32:06
like, I got 3% of the time,
32:08
you know? And I think even
32:10
for doing something like this podcast, I mean, when we
32:12
first met each other, I used to be like, oh,
32:15
I gotta get to this degree of, you
32:17
know, calm and
32:19
understanding of life. And the reality
32:21
is, I don't have a deeper
32:23
understanding of life. I just have a deeper
32:26
acceptance of self. And that
32:28
allows me to sit here and
32:30
be like, hey, like here it is,
32:32
this is what we got, you know? And
32:35
that has changed everything to me. It frees
32:37
you from so much,
32:39
you know? You can kind of just be like, hey, that's
32:41
actually a huge part of it. I used to, before
32:44
I would get out of a car and go into
32:46
a social situation, or before I would, I just would
32:48
say like, I'm moving
32:50
as fast as I can. I cannot be
32:53
healing any quicker than this. I'm like, this
32:55
is it, I'm here. So let's just, let's
32:57
be this, you know? Yeah,
32:59
and he trips us up. I feel like we just, yeah,
33:02
we're trying to be something
33:05
we're not, or trying to be something we're not
33:07
feeling. We're trying to feel
33:09
something we don't genuinely feel in the moment, whether
33:11
it's us trying to be more confident, trying to
33:13
be more calm, trying to be more, whatever else
33:15
it may be, fill in the blank. And
33:18
it lets us down and I wonder.
33:21
Letting yourself down too, you know? There's a
33:23
part of you that you're just like telling
33:25
yourself, you're telling that part of
33:27
yourself, you're not good
33:29
enough to be around these people, or to be
33:31
in front of this camera, you know? What was
33:34
the hardest question you had to
33:36
ask yourself during this whole period? Like, what was
33:38
the question that you asked yourself the most often
33:41
that you sought the answer for? Was
33:43
just like general direction.
33:48
I remember so many times I was
33:50
just like driving my car aimlessly,
33:53
and I
33:55
would just be like, literally, I think
33:57
the verbatim words I said out of my mouth were like.
34:00
you're exactly where you're supposed to be. Like you're exactly
34:02
where you're meant to be. Like this is, I know
34:05
it might not look like what you thought it was supposed to
34:08
look like. It might not feel like what you thought, but like
34:10
something about this is it.
34:14
And there was just a lot
34:16
of beautiful things that happened in that time. Like I moved to
34:18
LA and I didn't really have a lot of people around
34:21
at that time. And I remember I went to this
34:23
coffee shop every morning and I got this,
34:25
I got a coffee. And as I
34:28
was like sitting there telling myself this, I
34:30
saw this one guy, his name is Josh,
34:32
he's a great human. And it's reading this
34:34
book, I think it's called When
34:36
Things Fall Apart. He basically read, he was reading that book
34:38
for two years. It was sitting on the
34:41
coffee shop. And I went up to him and said, what's
34:43
this book? He introduced me
34:45
to another friend and another friend. And by
34:47
the time, after I knew it, it was
34:49
like every day, there's three or four of
34:51
us would sit around having coffee. And it
34:53
was like just little group therapy sessions. And
34:55
it just became the most, the best thing
34:57
in the world to me. It
35:00
was like 9 a.m. we're gonna go talk it out. And
35:03
it was exactly where I
35:05
was supposed to be at that time. And
35:07
it was so weird and awkward and uncomfortable,
35:09
but man, it really, yeah, really, that little
35:11
thing changed my life. It was funny, because
35:13
I'd always, people would always tell me, I
35:15
just saw Sean hanging out at a coffee shop.
35:17
I'd sit there for hours. He
35:20
started calling me the mayor of the coffee shop.
35:23
And it started to become like this thing where everyone
35:26
would like watch it and be like, what's going
35:28
on here? And
35:30
I feel like you really took shelter in building
35:32
your men's circle and your men's group and having
35:34
that ability to have a group
35:36
of men around you that you could be honest
35:38
with and open with. What was unique about that?
35:40
Why was that such an interesting thing
35:42
to build? Because I know you'd always talk to me
35:45
about that as well, this group that you were nourishing
35:47
in coffee. Yeah, and I had a couple, I had
35:49
this kind of coffee men's group and
35:52
I had this other beautiful men's
35:54
group simultaneously happening. And I think,
35:58
you know, just having like... Like men
36:00
from all ages, from all parts of the
36:02
world who do all different things, like really
36:05
just show up and strip
36:08
it all back and just be
36:13
brave in front of you. I
36:15
remember like someone, something,
36:18
someone, something, I don't know, told me
36:20
like when someone is sharing something hard
36:22
with you, like nine
36:24
times out of 10, you don't have to say
36:26
anything back because the
36:29
most healing part about
36:31
that experience is just to be witnessed in
36:33
your pain. And I
36:35
think it's just that, it's like to
36:38
be witnessed in your pain and for the person in front
36:40
of you not to be like, I
36:42
don't want this. It's just for them to, you
36:45
know, when you open your eyes and the pain is over and
36:47
you look up and they're still there like, hey
36:49
man, still here, you
36:51
know, that's beyond, you
36:53
know, so in simple ways.
36:55
Like that's, that's been a huge part of it. Yeah.
36:58
And I like that you were playing that role while
37:00
you were receiving that. Yeah. I
37:02
think there's something really interesting about that.
37:05
Well, it's empowering. You're simultaneously being vulnerable
37:07
and then also listening to
37:09
other people go through their stories and
37:11
you're empowered to be strong and hold
37:13
for them. And it's just a beautiful
37:15
process, you know? Because I think
37:18
a lot of us feel like when I get
37:20
there, I'll be strong enough. Then I'll be strong
37:22
enough to hold space for others. And it's almost
37:24
like this simultaneous mutual holding is
37:26
what we all need. And you're actually only going to
37:28
be better at holding others if you allow yourself to
37:31
be held. Yeah. And
37:33
if you practice holding others even when you have nothing
37:35
to hold them with. Exactly. And that
37:37
balance is what creates that
37:39
structure, that foundation that you're resting on. Yeah, the
37:42
roots. Yeah. You
37:44
were talking about this, you're talking about heavy. And
37:47
in the song you say it's been so heavy,
37:49
it's been so long running from everything and nothing
37:51
at all. I was thinking about that
37:53
a lot. So often we
37:56
think things are so heavy and there's so much going on. And then at
37:58
the same time you're like, but it's just so heavy. it's not there.
38:01
Look me through that dilemma.
38:03
This is the constant dilemma.
38:05
It's like in
38:08
reality, there is a lot
38:10
going on. And then also in reality,
38:12
it's okay oftentimes too. It's
38:16
that internal perspective that you're going
38:18
through. And I felt like,
38:23
yeah, just running when
38:25
you have the money
38:27
and the ability to be on the
38:30
constant move and run, I just
38:33
ran. And I was just never still.
38:36
And it was like, I
38:40
couldn't figure out how to get
38:42
away from the feeling that was
38:45
feeling so bad. And at
38:48
some point I was just like, okay. A
38:51
friend of mine was like, hey man, wherever you go, there you are. And
38:54
at that point I was just like, okay, I gotta
38:56
let it kind of hit me. And
39:00
yeah, that was just a big part of it. It's
39:03
just, like I said, the realization that like, when
39:05
you kind of move all of the stuff
39:07
out of the way, it just kind of, it
39:10
just drops into the truth. It's
39:13
really hard to get to that place when all of the noise
39:15
gets out of the way. It's very hard to get to that
39:17
state, but sometimes when you do,
39:20
it allows you to
39:22
look around and be like, okay, actually it's okay.
39:25
Were you running away from fame? Was
39:28
it the, what was it? What did you
39:30
feel you were running away from? Did you,
39:32
was there a point where you were like,
39:34
I don't want to be famous? Like I
39:36
don't want to have the platform? Absolutely. And
39:38
I think just like more
39:41
of like what I felt like the
39:43
fame was doing to my mind. And
39:45
I was letting it do
39:47
to my mind and it all was based
39:49
around perception. And
39:53
just all I wanted to feel was comfortable
39:56
in my own body, you know, and like
39:58
not crawling in my skin. from
40:01
like every word that would come
40:03
out of my mouth to the way I would sit in a
40:05
chair. Everything,
40:08
you know, and I think it
40:11
just takes time because the reality is that
40:13
if you spend your life around
40:15
cameras and around social media and around
40:17
people who are constantly talking about the
40:19
way you look, the way you sound,
40:22
the way you act in
40:24
a way that has more to do with
40:26
a performance and perception, then that is what
40:28
you're going to be focused on. And
40:30
you really, if you're stuck in that spinning,
40:33
you need to put yourself around people who
40:35
are like doing the opposite
40:37
of that, who are like not worried about
40:39
how you're acting, not worried about what you're
40:41
saying, not worried about how you're sitting and
40:44
just existing, you know.
40:47
And I had to just
40:50
reconnect with that. And that's why
40:52
I named the album Shawn too.
40:55
I just felt like, yeah,
40:58
just that process of stripping just took
41:00
so long. And a lot of it
41:02
is just like, I think a lot
41:04
of it is this
41:07
idea of who I wanted to be in
41:09
this world, you know, this like, this
41:13
image of perfection. And I just
41:16
like, even right now, I'm just like, oh
41:18
man, like, thank God for everything because I'm
41:20
sitting here and I really
41:23
am not having tons of intrusive thoughts about
41:25
like, are you saying the right thing? Are
41:27
you doing the right thing? It just
41:30
is, you know, and I'm
41:32
just grateful for that. It's a nice feeling. I
41:35
just got to like check on that for a
41:37
second. I was glad you're feeling
41:39
that way. That's what I say when I was doing the
41:41
intro. I mean, I felt that way because we always talk
41:43
about these things anyway. It's even strange having all this stuff.
41:45
And it was funny because I was noticing something that was
41:48
happening in our conversation. I'd be
41:50
halfway through a tour and you'd lead on it. You wouldn't even let
41:52
me ask the question. No.
41:54
And I was like, but that's what
41:56
we do. Like we would never have
41:58
perfect causes and causes. And I was liking that.
42:02
I was appreciating that. I was noticing it
42:04
going, this is really nice. I'm not even
42:06
finishing my thought. And Sean already knows what
42:08
I'm about to say. And I was like,
42:10
I'm glad that we're doing that. And that
42:12
when we started this, I was like, yeah,
42:15
this doesn't need to be a performance. Because it's real. That
42:19
doesn't need to be that. So keep doing it, is what
42:21
I'm saying. I will. And I'm happy
42:23
that you're feeling there's no intrusive thoughts. I mean, I
42:26
think that constant filtering that we
42:29
always live in is exhausting. It's exhausting, man.
42:31
And I remember you told me about some
42:33
of the pressures back then that came
42:36
from different sources of like, oh,
42:38
if you want to be the biggest artist, then you have
42:40
to do this. So if you don't do this now, then
42:42
you won't be as big as so-and-so. Whatever. And
42:45
I was thinking about that. And when I met
42:47
you, you were whatever, like 22 years old or
42:49
something. And it's like, gosh,
42:51
hearing that as a 22-year-old, and then
42:53
you hear about TikTokers who
42:55
are taking off, hearing about 18 years old or 16
42:58
years old. And you probably heard it
43:00
when you started at 15. Like, that
43:03
can really push someone
43:05
into only caring about those
43:07
things. Yeah, of course. What did that stripping
43:09
away look like? We
43:12
always talk about this, like, you look great.
43:14
You're dressing well. You know, the hair looks good. Like,
43:16
how have you got to a point where like you
43:18
can care, but then still be the test?
43:20
Well, I think that's part of it. Actually, honestly, I
43:22
can. My tendency is to be very extreme. And a
43:24
lot of what I work on in therapy is just
43:26
finding this middle ground, just to not be in these
43:29
black and white binaries, you know? And
43:32
I oftentimes, like, I went from, like,
43:35
you know, wanting to look like the image
43:37
of perfection for complete, like,
43:40
paradox to exist in your life. And like,
43:42
two things to exist, like, the
43:44
number one thing I say in therapy is, yeah,
43:47
I know I'm feeling this, and I'm also feeling
43:49
this at the same time, and that's
43:51
okay. And that's
43:53
just like, it's
43:56
just creating more space all the time, you
43:58
know? You
44:00
have this song, Heart of God. This was something that
44:02
stood out to me. You
44:05
say, I'm sorry that I wasn't there
44:07
to hug your mama at the funeral. Yeah. I didn't
44:09
cry. I didn't even feel the pain. Then it hit
44:11
me all at once when we talked about it yesterday.
44:13
Yeah. Walk me through
44:15
who that was and what
44:18
happened there. When
44:22
I was young, when I was like
44:25
12, 13, I had a friend. His
44:27
name was Deome. My
44:31
friend Brian, you know Brian. Him
44:33
and I and Deome were just great
44:35
friends. We spent a lot of time
44:37
together. He was
44:40
awesome, dude. He was a lot like me. He was a very
44:42
sensitive dude. I really, really
44:45
connected with him. When
44:48
I was 15, obviously he got signed and started making
44:50
music. He
44:53
went off and started touring. Then Deome and
44:55
I just started
44:58
to disconnect. I
45:02
don't know exactly how old I was, but I think I was
45:04
about, I was probably 15, 16, 17. Brian would
45:08
call me and say, hey,
45:12
he would say, Deome's gotten into
45:14
drugs and stuff. Just
45:18
thinking about his mom. His mom's name is
45:20
Gail. Hoping that she sees
45:26
the beauty in the story of talking about him and
45:28
hope it's okay. When
45:31
I was like 18, around 18, Brian called
45:33
me one day and he said, hey man, Deome, he
45:36
passed away in his sleep last night. He
45:43
overdosed. I remember
45:46
when I heard it, Brian was on the phone crying
45:48
and I was just somewhere on
45:50
tour. I just
45:56
felt numb. I didn't really feel anything.
46:00
and just like hung
46:03
up and I just
46:05
kind of went on with everything and time just went
46:07
on. Sitting
46:11
in the studio about
46:14
three months ago and I keep hearing this
46:16
kind of title,
46:19
it's Heart of Gold and I ask myself, what
46:22
is this song about? What is this song about?
46:26
And Scott, who I
46:28
make a lot of music with, he looks over at me and
46:30
he goes, didn't you have a friend who
46:32
passed away from an overdose? And second he
46:34
said that Brian
46:36
was in the room and Brian goes, talk about
46:39
Deomi? And
46:43
yeah, the second he said Deomi's
46:45
name, it just like hit me,
46:47
like years of like not processing
46:49
it just like all hit me and
46:51
we sat there and sobbed. And
46:57
yeah, the song man, it was a hard song to write
46:59
and it just felt like a letter. It felt like a
47:01
letter to my friend that I never got to, the
47:04
things I never got to say to him. And
47:07
I imagine that like when
47:10
you die of an overdose, especially
47:13
as someone as sweet and kind and loving
47:15
as him, like you kind
47:17
of wake up wherever you wake up and
47:19
then potentially is this moment of like what
47:22
happened. Not
47:25
that he needs it, but it just felt like a
47:27
good opportunity to just be like, Hey man, we love
47:29
you and you had a heart of
47:31
gold and we're
47:34
down here thinking about you. And
47:36
yeah, it's one
47:39
of my favorite songs to play man.
47:41
It just is, it's just
47:43
this beautiful golden light and he is
47:45
just like this super swaggy dude and
47:47
it just like, it holds his energy.
47:50
And it's just like every time we
47:52
play it, I just imagine this huge
47:55
golden light beaming up from the place
47:57
we're in, wherever he is just reaching
47:59
him. And yeah, I
48:03
love that song. You want to play a little? I
48:07
could play it for you on
48:09
the song, on the phone after. But
48:11
yeah, man. No, I love that song
48:13
as well. I was intrigued because that
48:15
wasn't something I was aware of. Yeah.
48:17
It's funny, man, like how these
48:20
things are when you're open to the truth
48:24
and what wants to come out of you and what wants
48:26
to be made. Yeah,
48:29
it's unexpected
48:32
and it was extremely healing. It's still very
48:34
healing to just like sing that song out
48:36
to him every time I play it now.
48:39
Have you played it for his family? I haven't
48:41
actually. I have to go back to Pickering
48:43
and play it for his mom. Yeah. Yeah.
48:47
How do you think she'll react? Yeah. I
48:50
don't know. I think she'll love it. She's
48:52
an amazing human being. I always had an
48:54
amazing connection with her. And
48:57
so I could see her just like she's
48:59
just a badass, just totally rocking to it
49:01
and loving it. And yeah,
49:04
special family, special human. Yeah.
49:07
It's nice to immortalize it in a song and immortalize
49:10
him. Yeah, it is. It is
49:14
really, really nice. Never wrote about death in
49:16
that way before. So yeah. Was it
49:18
a process of forgiving
49:20
yourself and not having fun? Yeah. Yeah. What
49:23
can we explain? That was a lot of
49:25
it. A lot of it was the guilt
49:27
for not reaching out or the guilt for
49:29
not being there for him or even
49:32
more so just the guilt for not being
49:35
at his funeral and seeing his mom and
49:37
all this stuff. And music
49:39
has this funny way of healing
49:43
in a way that other things
49:45
can't, you know. So yeah. Can't
49:48
wait to play for his mom, honestly. I
49:50
can't wait. Yeah. I can't wait for you to tell me. Yeah, I
49:52
will. I can imagine it just being like this.
49:54
Yeah. Really special moment. And I think,
49:57
you know, it's so human that...
50:02
There are so many things we go
50:05
through that we're
50:07
not ready to process something yet. And
50:10
then we feel guilty that we weren't ready
50:12
when we almost feel we
50:14
needed to be. But
50:16
then you realise that actually when you were
50:18
ready to process it, something more beautiful came
50:20
from it for everyone. I
50:23
think I spoke to you about it, but one of
50:25
my monk friends passed away from cancer. My closest friend
50:27
during my time in the monastery passed
50:29
away a couple of years back. He
50:32
was maybe a year older than me, had
50:34
colon cancer. And I
50:36
couldn't go back to see him because it
50:38
was the pandemic when it happened. And
50:45
I couldn't fly back. I couldn't be by his side. I
50:47
couldn't be there with him. And in
50:49
the last few weeks
50:51
to months of his experience of it, he
50:53
wasn't even in a place to do phone
50:55
calls. And
50:57
I spoke to him three days before he passed away on
51:00
the phone. And he was crouched over
51:02
because he was in so much pain physically. And
51:04
so I couldn't even look at
51:06
him. And I always carried
51:08
that as I wasn't there by his side. I
51:10
should have been. I could have been. And it's
51:12
been something that when I was listening to it
51:14
and I heard that, that's what I was thinking
51:16
about. It's strange because
51:18
you kind of bury it until you're
51:20
ready to look at it. And
51:23
sometimes you don't even know if you're ready to look at it yet, what
51:26
part of it. I
51:28
agree with you. I think music's the only thing
51:31
that can get into that complexity of it.
51:33
Yeah, grieving is just a complex thing.
51:36
Probably lasts a lifetime. It's
51:39
beautiful that it came to you in that moment and that you
51:41
were able to... Yeah. I'm glad you
51:43
related to it, man. Yeah, no. I mean,
51:45
I relate to it in so many ways. Even grieving,
51:47
I think grief also we talk about,
51:49
obviously this is talking about the loss of
51:51
a friend and mine too. But I
51:53
think grieving is also like, I
51:56
was at my sister's wedding last year and
51:58
my sister's one of my... my favorite people
52:00
on the planet, my best friend. She
52:03
knows everything about me. She's four and a half years younger
52:05
than me. We have similar
52:07
sister vibes, same with mine. She's
52:09
just like, I love her to bits, and
52:11
she's like my little brother, actually. That's
52:14
how, unfortunately, she's been treated by me. But
52:17
I was at our wedding last year, and I
52:19
left the UK, I left London eight years ago
52:21
now. And we've
52:24
kept in touch, and we've kept our relationship. We're as
52:26
tight as ever, so it hasn't been affected, it was
52:29
really funny because I was at her wedding, and
52:32
I was just sobbing the whole
52:34
time. And I have to show you,
52:36
can I show it to you? I wasn't even planning on doing
52:38
this, but now that I remember, I think I just showed it
52:40
to my team the other day, because my sister was just with
52:42
me, and she- Oh,
52:45
I don't even want it. I don't even have it
52:47
on hand. Photos of me crying at my sister's wedding.
52:49
I have to show you. It
52:51
was just, wait, sorry, I wasn't prepared for this. That's
52:53
why it's genuinely the moment I'm trying to make sure
52:56
that I have it. Oh,
53:02
man, it's
53:05
so good. And then zoom out to
53:07
see Ravi's reaction. Oh, man, it's really
53:09
good. I've never seen your face look
53:11
like that. Oh,
53:16
man, that is so good. That
53:18
is an unreal photo. There's so
53:21
much happening on your face. There's
53:23
a whole story on your face. Did you
53:26
zoom out? Yeah, I saw Ravi's. Ravi's
53:28
taking a picture. Smiling gorgeous. Ravi's taking a
53:30
picture. And then I made her cry,
53:32
and that was her. Oh, yeah,
53:34
good. But what
53:36
I'm getting to is this idea of like, I
53:39
was at my sister's wedding thinking
53:42
it was going to be completely normal, and
53:45
it wasn't, because I started to
53:47
realize that when I left London,
53:49
I had to switch off. Even
53:52
though I was connected with her, and I loved her
53:54
and we talked all the time, there was a part
53:56
of my emotional connection to my family that I had
53:58
to turn off because... If
54:00
I thought about it every day in New York and
54:02
then LA. Yeah, you couldn't do it. I couldn't do
54:04
it because I didn't have any
54:06
family and friends in New York and LA and I didn't
54:08
know how my life was going to go and I didn't
54:10
know what I was going to do. I
54:13
was like, if I stay too connected emotionally, I'm going
54:15
to have to run back. And then I remember I
54:17
went back to my house, my parents' home, when me
54:19
and my sister grew up and it was
54:21
the first time she wasn't there. And last
54:24
Christmas, I felt like I was... Alone.
54:27
Fully alone. And it was
54:29
so strange because I was like, what
54:31
is going on? And it was all these feelings
54:33
I denied or put away or hidden from myself
54:36
because it was too uncomfortable to go there. And
54:38
they all just came up with my sister leaving
54:40
and getting married and all the rest of it.
54:42
And so I think grieving also is also
54:45
the loss of a former life, the loss
54:48
of a former self, the loss of... There's
54:50
so much to it that I
54:52
think you bring up in that song that at least
54:54
it got me thinking about. Yeah, yeah. Grief
54:57
is a really, really complex, interesting thing.
55:00
But yeah, that's beautiful, man. I
55:02
love that photo so much. I'll send
55:04
it to you afterwards. That's
55:07
so good. I wanted to talk
55:09
to you a bit about... And I
55:11
hope you don't mind, we're doing an album tour because... Whatever
55:14
you want. To me, I always get happy
55:16
when I can... You know, your
55:18
music is so healing for me. And
55:21
I know it's going to be so
55:23
healing for people. Actually, talk to me about that because you had 15
55:26
fans in here last night. And that was
55:28
the first time you played this album to
55:30
them. I wasn't here for that. So I
55:32
want to hear about what was that like.
55:35
It was really special. It was just like
55:37
so... It was my
55:39
first time really telling the story of all the
55:41
songs, you know? And it was
55:45
just a sobbing fest. Everyone was sobbing
55:47
and everyone was crying. And it's
55:50
just another reminder that greatness
55:53
is not one person.
55:55
It really is just so
55:57
many things happening and aligning.
56:00
to make something special, you know? It's like the
56:04
end of the night, like when I look around,
56:06
I'm like, all the candles are lit and like
56:08
all the people in the room, the fans in
56:10
there, like the friends who've come, like our friends
56:12
who are amazing chefs who've come and made this
56:15
amazing meal for them. And like, there's flowers around,
56:17
like, you know, I didn't do
56:19
any of this. And my band, like, there
56:22
are all these humans who are
56:24
so amazing who come together to
56:27
make something special happen. And
56:30
when you like make room
56:33
for that and give space for
56:35
that collective effort to be felt,
56:38
oh, it was just like, and on
56:40
top of that, just like the album itself, we
56:42
put so much effort into just the stories and
56:44
the truth of it that I
56:47
felt like my job was so easy. All
56:50
I had to do was represent
56:52
the song. All I had to do was speak the
56:54
truth of what we wrote about and
56:56
perform it that way and move on. There
57:00
was the greatest show ever was already wrote before
57:02
we started and I just had to step into
57:04
it. And I think that's
57:06
such a representation also just
57:09
of like, for me, like as a
57:11
performer, like I have had a really
57:14
hard time, you know, when A,
57:16
I am carrying
57:19
the weight of everything on my shoulders, when
57:21
I'm the one, when I'm telling myself this
57:24
being fantastic, all relies, all comes
57:27
down to me. If I'm not fantastic, it
57:29
all doesn't matter, which is
57:31
not true at all. And the more
57:33
I take that weight off of me, the more fantastic
57:35
it becomes. And B, when
57:38
the art I've chosen to create comes
57:41
from such a truthful place, the show
57:43
you play is so
57:45
much easier. It just
57:47
like, it supports you. It feels like you just
57:50
have the lift of the
57:52
truth, you know, and you
57:54
can't rush that stuff at the end of the
57:56
day. You cannot rush art
57:58
and music and. you have to really
58:00
allow it in the fans last night. They were like,
58:03
hey, you know, at the end of the show, they
58:05
were like, hey, like, if this is the type of music you come back
58:07
with, take as much time as you need.
58:11
And so it was so sweet. That's beautiful.
58:13
Yeah, it was so special for me. Sometimes
58:18
life can seem challenging and overcoming
58:20
problems can seem impossible. But when
58:22
you focus on your problems, it can keep
58:24
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58:26
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58:28
a change in perspective is acknowledging the small
58:30
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58:32
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58:34
it helps them see positive outcomes and the
58:36
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58:38
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with Primeway. primewayfcu.com Yeah,
1:00:31
I feel like when I'm listening to this album, it feels
1:00:33
like I'm listening
1:00:35
to a friend talk to me about what they've
1:00:37
been going through. Yeah. They were catching up on
1:00:39
a call. Good. And I'm listening to a friend
1:00:41
just hearing about what's going
1:00:43
on in their life and how they're thinking
1:00:45
about it. Good. That's that's perfect then. That's
1:00:47
how and I feel like that's it's
1:00:51
so beautiful and it's obviously so hard to
1:00:53
do because you're doing it at,
1:00:55
you know, everyone's feeling that
1:00:57
way. And so that's not easy. Yeah.
1:01:00
And continuing our tour of the album,
1:01:02
you talk about. You
1:01:04
know, love and relationships, which is a romantic relationship,
1:01:07
which is such a big part of your own
1:01:10
journey. And we've talked about this so much.
1:01:12
Yeah, it's such a it's
1:01:14
such a sensitive part of our hearts. Like such
1:01:16
a like it's almost like society's
1:01:19
also made it. More.
1:01:21
Yeah. More sensitive, like on such a pedestal. Yeah.
1:01:23
As I often talk about recently. Yeah. I was
1:01:25
just saying this to someone the other day who's
1:01:27
going through something and I was saying that. They've
1:01:32
always overvalued and overweighted romantic love.
1:01:34
Instead of just general love. Instead
1:01:36
of the general love. And,
1:01:40
you know, in your song In
1:01:43
Between, you say,
1:01:45
if I'm not all in, then I'm
1:01:48
all out. And it's never going
1:01:50
to happen if it doesn't happen right now. If
1:01:53
it doesn't end with a ring, is it just sex?
1:01:56
If it isn't black and white, then it's on to the next.
1:01:59
I mean. I can't think of how many
1:02:01
people can relate to that experience.
1:02:04
Yeah. And how many people, when
1:02:06
they hear that, are going to think, that's
1:02:09
my life, that's me. Walk
1:02:11
me through what you're
1:02:14
experiencing, what you're going through in your mind. Yeah,
1:02:17
for me, I'm definitely one of
1:02:19
those people who has over put
1:02:22
way too much weight on the romantic part
1:02:24
of love. Doing that has done
1:02:27
many things. It suffocated love. It
1:02:30
has closed the
1:02:32
door to any other kind of love that
1:02:34
I could be receiving. I guess
1:02:36
there comes a point where, there came a point over the last
1:02:38
couple of years where I was just like, I
1:02:41
realize life is hard. Like,
1:02:43
this thing is too long and too hard
1:02:46
to like, not just be open to the
1:02:48
love that's in front of you, asking
1:02:50
to be received right now, you
1:02:53
know. And
1:02:56
that was kind of what I was writing about there is,
1:02:59
isn't it enough just to have
1:03:01
someone share
1:03:03
a moment with you of love? And it's
1:03:06
hard at first because it's like, it's really vulnerable to
1:03:08
like, allow that because all the things come in as
1:03:10
like, is this romantic? Is this this? And
1:03:13
is this going to be forever? What
1:03:15
does this mean? You know, is this
1:03:17
weird because you're with someone and we're
1:03:19
having a beautiful connection. What does
1:03:21
that mean? Is this bad? Is this wrong? And
1:03:24
all of that can exist at
1:03:27
the same time and
1:03:29
it's okay. And when
1:03:31
you start making more space for
1:03:33
all that complexity to exist, like
1:03:35
you start to realize, wow, there's
1:03:38
a lot of opportunity for me to feel love every day.
1:03:41
And I have noticed
1:03:43
that my fixation on romantic
1:03:45
love has dwindled and
1:03:47
I've just been so much more, you
1:03:50
know, I
1:03:52
guess generally feeling that empty space of
1:03:55
love fill up. And that's
1:03:57
just because I think I'm more willing to receive
1:03:59
it from. more places, you
1:04:01
know? And it's
1:04:04
tough too, because we
1:04:06
have been watching Disney since we were kids, and
1:04:08
so we're like, where is my forever? You know,
1:04:10
and even in the song, like, you know, I
1:04:13
have another song in there where I'm like, you're
1:04:15
the one and I live for this moment. It's like, that
1:04:18
like, tickles a part of
1:04:20
us. And we like love to hear
1:04:22
that. And, you know, to the end of life, I'll
1:04:25
be hopeless romantic like that. But like,
1:04:28
yeah, but part of me also has to just
1:04:30
know that, yeah, love can just,
1:04:32
it can really be there. You can experience
1:04:34
it. And if you just wait your whole
1:04:36
life for one person to give it to
1:04:39
you, you might
1:04:41
be let down. And also,
1:04:43
you might just, that person might just be
1:04:46
so, might be so impossible for them to
1:04:48
feel that for you, you know? So, yeah,
1:04:51
I'm open to love. That's
1:04:53
what I'm saying. What's it been
1:04:55
like for you having your
1:04:58
romantic life be so public, and
1:05:00
then when you break up, it's public.
1:05:02
And then if there's a potential reconnection,
1:05:04
it's public. Yeah. And I feel like
1:05:07
that is kind of, I mean,
1:05:10
for anyone I've ever interviewed, for anyone I've
1:05:12
ever known, that seems to be one of
1:05:15
the hardest things, because it's brutal for
1:05:17
both people, fans, audiences, people in
1:05:20
people's private life. Like, walk me
1:05:22
through what that's been like, and
1:05:25
maybe where certain songs felt
1:05:27
connected to that experience. And
1:05:29
I've just been so much more, you
1:05:32
know, I
1:05:34
guess generally feeling that empty space of
1:05:37
love fill up. And that's just because
1:05:39
I think I'm more willing to receive
1:05:41
it from more places, you know? And
1:05:46
it's tough too, because we
1:05:48
have been watching Disney since we were kids. And
1:05:50
so we're like, where is my forever, you know?
1:05:53
And even in the song, like, you know, I
1:05:55
have another song in there where I'm like, you're
1:05:58
the one, and I live for this moment. It's like, I know. And
1:06:00
that like tickles a part
1:06:02
of us. And we like love to
1:06:04
hear that. And you know, to the end of life, I'll
1:06:07
be a hopeless romantic like that. But
1:06:09
like, yeah, but part of me
1:06:11
also has to just know that, yeah,
1:06:14
love can just, it can really be there.
1:06:16
You can experience it. And if you just
1:06:18
wait your whole life for one person to
1:06:20
give it to you, you
1:06:23
might be let down. And also you might
1:06:26
just, that person might just be so, might
1:06:28
be so impossible for them to feel that
1:06:30
for you. So yeah,
1:06:33
I'm open to love. That's what I'm
1:06:35
saying. What's
1:06:37
it been like for you having your
1:06:40
romantic life be so public and
1:06:42
then when you break up, it's public.
1:06:45
And then if there's a potential reconnection,
1:06:47
it's public. And I feel like that
1:06:50
is kind of, I
1:06:52
mean, for anyone I've ever interviewed, for anyone
1:06:54
I've ever known, that seems to be one
1:06:57
of the hardest things because it's brutal for
1:07:00
both people, fans, audiences, people
1:07:03
in people's private life. Like walk me
1:07:05
through what that's been like and maybe
1:07:07
where certain songs felt connected to that
1:07:10
experience. Brutal. I
1:07:15
mean, honestly, I think
1:07:18
Camila and I have just done the
1:07:21
best job at preserving our
1:07:24
private little fire of love for
1:07:27
each other because no matter
1:07:29
how strong mentally you are
1:07:32
when there are millions of people commenting
1:07:34
on it, it's so hard not
1:07:36
to be affected by it and to be swayed
1:07:38
by it and to be inspired by it and
1:07:40
to desire because people desire it or
1:07:43
to hate it because people hate it and it's
1:07:45
just human. And I feel
1:07:48
like her and I have just
1:07:50
worked extremely hard to just protect
1:07:52
each other and protect that
1:07:54
love. And I've
1:07:56
learned a lot about that. And
1:07:58
it's, It's part
1:08:01
of it, it's definitely part of it,
1:08:03
and there's no getting away from that. But
1:08:05
if I'm being completely
1:08:07
honest, I don't really go on social media
1:08:09
anymore. So
1:08:11
I don't really see
1:08:14
or care what people say about
1:08:17
my love life or my relationships because
1:08:20
it's just, it's honestly
1:08:22
too detrimental to the actual relationship
1:08:24
itself that I've become
1:08:26
pretty strict on that part of
1:08:28
it. But it is,
1:08:30
it's crazy, man. We're not
1:08:33
in a movie, this is not a movie.
1:08:35
Celebrities are, sometimes maybe they think they are
1:08:37
and sometimes they literally are, but it is
1:08:40
in a movie, this is real life, this
1:08:42
is real love and love is confusing and
1:08:44
hard and goes through dips and goes
1:08:48
through pauses, goes through breaks, goes
1:08:50
through so much. And so, yeah,
1:08:54
I really feel for everyone who goes
1:08:56
through that, you know? I
1:08:58
just feel like as a celebrity,
1:09:00
I just wanna just
1:09:03
come at it and be really truthful from the
1:09:06
place of this is what love
1:09:08
is like for me, you know? What
1:09:11
have you both done, and maybe obviously speaking for
1:09:13
yourself, what have you
1:09:15
done to protect the relationship
1:09:19
apart from distancing yourself from the noise?
1:09:22
Yeah. What else has been
1:09:24
useful in protecting whatever
1:09:27
a relationship may be in any phase?
1:09:29
For me and for us, I think
1:09:31
immense honesty, just like over
1:09:34
communication, you know? Like I felt this way when
1:09:36
I was doing this interview and I said this
1:09:38
thing and I felt weird and I'm sorry if
1:09:40
it came off like that and, you
1:09:42
know, I love you and that's my, you
1:09:45
know, it just immediately cuts through any type
1:09:47
of assumption that I could make or she
1:09:49
could make from anything. And, you
1:09:52
know, we're both amazing at that. I'll be the first
1:09:54
to text her, she'll be the first to text
1:09:56
me. And we just, as long as we're good,
1:09:59
all the noise is just... noise and that's
1:10:01
been a huge part of it. Yeah. So rather than
1:10:03
be like, Oh, I hope they don't see that. Or I
1:10:05
hope they don't. Yeah. It's like, Oh, I'm just going to
1:10:07
tell them what I was, why I
1:10:09
was feeling that. Yeah. Yeah. And then how
1:10:12
do you open yourself up to receive that
1:10:14
honesty when it isn't comfortable, let's say. I
1:10:16
think it's also just a part of just
1:10:18
understanding the situation
1:10:21
we're in as, and not only
1:10:24
as, as, uh, celebrities, but artists,
1:10:26
you know, being two people that
1:10:28
make music and tell the
1:10:31
story of the heart and that's just a
1:10:33
big part of it. And we both are
1:10:35
very aware of that. You know, so just
1:10:37
having respect for the fact that we're
1:10:40
storytellers, you know. Wow. And that takes
1:10:42
a lot though. Yeah. That takes a
1:10:45
lot of maturity. Yeah, for sure. That's
1:10:47
like a really mature perspective to have.
1:10:50
Yeah. And I mean, we've been doing it since we're
1:10:52
very young. So I think at this point, we're just
1:10:54
like, we hopefully
1:10:56
just have a great, deep,
1:10:59
great respect. So I don't
1:11:01
think either of us would ever cross a line,
1:11:03
you know, we deeply respect each other. That
1:11:06
takes a lot, man. It's so hard to like, you
1:11:09
know, as I've always said to you,
1:11:12
you're an old soul because I'm like, I don't have
1:11:14
people like twice your age, maybe even more
1:11:17
than that, who struggle with that. Yeah. It's
1:11:20
so hard to actually have
1:11:22
that perspective and understanding
1:11:24
and respect for someone's personal,
1:11:27
professional, you know, orbit.
1:11:29
It is. It is. Yeah. And it's
1:11:32
hard when it's two people too. It's easy
1:11:34
for one person to do. I'm just lucky.
1:11:36
She's an amazing human being and she's incredibly
1:11:38
understanding and thoughtful and caring. So communicating
1:11:41
with her is not difficult. And I think
1:11:43
that's just probably a huge part of it.
1:11:45
Yeah. Why does it feel sometimes that you
1:11:49
can have two people who
1:11:51
respect each other so much, connect
1:11:53
so much, have so much admiration
1:11:55
and love for each other, but that it's
1:11:57
not right romantically? Like, why is that? because
1:12:00
you have this beautiful lyric that nobody
1:12:02
knows that says when you're so
1:12:04
in love and your souls touch, but it's still
1:12:06
not in love, where does it go? Like I
1:12:08
feel like that's something a lot of people have
1:12:10
been- Struggle with. Yeah. That's
1:12:13
a great question. It is a great
1:12:15
question. I don't have the probably greatest answer
1:12:17
for, I think that's exactly why I asked,
1:12:19
where does it go? Where does that love
1:12:22
go when it's so present? And
1:12:27
I think the best answer I can come up with is
1:12:29
just that love
1:12:31
is a lot, but
1:12:35
partnership is more than love.
1:12:38
And I think it
1:12:40
has a lot to do with how you
1:12:42
support each other in your
1:12:44
day-to-day life and really being honest about who
1:12:47
you are and making
1:12:49
sure that someone that you're with
1:12:51
is in support of that
1:12:53
and doesn't have to bend
1:12:55
themselves entirely to be in support of
1:12:57
that. And vice versa. And
1:13:00
I think it's
1:13:02
tough because you can go your whole life and
1:13:04
never feel that feeling of deep love
1:13:06
again. And I
1:13:11
think it's just really complex. It's
1:13:13
been something I think people have been trying to
1:13:16
figure out for a long time. And I
1:13:19
just think potentially, you mean we've talked
1:13:21
about love a lot. I think potentially we're
1:13:23
still all wrapping our heads around love and
1:13:25
we're still working through such westernized movie,
1:13:28
romanticized, dramatized versions of
1:13:30
it. And if you go
1:13:32
to places that have been less exposed to that
1:13:34
type of thinking, then maybe love is
1:13:36
a little simpler or a little more, I don't
1:13:39
know. And
1:13:42
so for me, hopefully there's a little
1:13:44
bit of both. Hopefully you can have
1:13:46
that spark and that magic and that
1:13:48
love, and you can also have that
1:13:50
compatibility where your two lives are working
1:13:52
in flow with each other. Obviously
1:13:56
you're gonna have to bend here and there, but I
1:13:59
think to a degree. Yeah, I
1:14:01
don't ask you or anyone because I think someone has
1:14:03
the perfect answer. I know I don't. I
1:14:06
ask because I think when people are
1:14:08
navigating something, that's when they have the
1:14:10
most reflective, variegated
1:14:13
view of it. Because when you're
1:14:15
actually going through it, you actually
1:14:18
can at least, people can hear themselves
1:14:20
in you, in your
1:14:22
voice. And that's what the song does. People
1:14:25
are listening to it going, gosh, am I with the
1:14:27
right person at the wrong time or is it the
1:14:30
wrong person at the right time or is it just...
1:14:32
And it's a constant question. It's like a constant question
1:14:34
to be like, I mean, that's also part
1:14:36
of it is like not, it's
1:14:38
okay to be unsure even if you're unsure
1:14:40
for the rest of your life. Like that
1:14:43
might be part of it and that's
1:14:46
that. I
1:14:49
mean, the art of what you're talking about in the
1:14:51
album, what you talk about, what we've talked about, what
1:14:53
you're speaking about is just this like, how
1:14:55
do we get comfortable with discomfort?
1:14:57
How do we get okay with
1:15:00
uncertainty? But
1:15:02
that's like, that is the hardest thing. And
1:15:04
like you said, it's not something that you ever get
1:15:06
to. It's something you're
1:15:08
constantly practicing, like constantly working on. And
1:15:10
I feel like romantic love
1:15:12
is the one that like exposes
1:15:14
everything because there's love, there's
1:15:17
envy, there's comparison, there's competition. Like
1:15:19
there's so many emotions that it
1:15:22
kind of triggers out in you. What
1:15:24
have you done to manage your
1:15:26
discomfort and uncertainty when it comes to?
1:15:28
To love or just generally? I'd say
1:15:31
both. Both, yeah, both. I mean,
1:15:33
I think it's a
1:15:36
lot of therapy, honestly.
1:15:39
And I think for me, it's just, I
1:15:42
think everyone's different. For me, it's really
1:15:44
helpful to just speak as practical as
1:15:46
I can about each situation. This
1:15:48
is what's happening and this is what's not
1:15:50
happening. And this is
1:15:52
what's going on and I'm feeling confused
1:15:55
and all of this
1:15:57
is just happening and that's okay. I
1:16:00
think to be honest, it's like, I'm currently not in
1:16:02
a relationship. So I'm sure I can't
1:16:05
wait to be back in the love spins,
1:16:08
all the emotions getting triggered and all this
1:16:10
stuff. Because being in a relationship is really
1:16:12
hard. I think sometimes it's easier from the
1:16:14
place of being single to be like in
1:16:17
a place of like, hey, like, you know, find
1:16:19
the balance. But like once you're in a relationship,
1:16:21
it's much harder. Well, once you
1:16:23
have something to lose, it's much harder to not
1:16:25
have a tight grip on it, you know? And
1:16:28
so we'll see when I'm
1:16:30
back in that state. No,
1:16:33
I love what you're saying because I've always said, and maybe
1:16:35
I've never even said this out loud, but I
1:16:37
always reflect on like, if
1:16:40
forever, for whatever reason, and not
1:16:42
that this is indicative of anything that's happening,
1:16:44
but if for whatever reason, me
1:16:46
and Radhi would ever go our separate ways,
1:16:49
it's interesting, I think a lot of people would say,
1:16:51
oh, but you told us you loved each other. Yeah.
1:16:54
And you told us you had the perfect relationship, and
1:16:56
which I have not, but, and I
1:16:58
don't have a perfect relationship, I've never claimed to
1:17:00
have one, but the viewpoint becomes, but you guys,
1:17:02
like, you know, Jay, you wrote a
1:17:05
book on love, like, how could you break up with
1:17:07
someone? And I'm like, no, no,
1:17:09
no, like, that's life, like, that's
1:17:11
reality, like, and I think we have
1:17:13
this view, again, clarifying, there's nothing going
1:17:15
on. Yeah, of course. I'm just saying
1:17:17
it for an example, because I think
1:17:19
it's so important to address these things,
1:17:22
because I think we have these very
1:17:24
fixed viewpoints of what something
1:17:27
should be, and what something should look like. And
1:17:29
I think it goes back to just like, I
1:17:31
don't know, like, maybe this sounds too idealistic,
1:17:33
or like, optimistic, but
1:17:36
like, I think it goes back to just
1:17:40
finding what
1:17:42
you actually, figuring out what it is you
1:17:44
actually want in life. Like, for me, it's
1:17:46
like, do I want to
1:17:50
be in a constant state of
1:17:52
like, I have someone, I have
1:17:54
this fiery thing that always is
1:17:57
mine, and it, It's
1:18:00
like more of that like ownership,
1:18:03
that like desire, which
1:18:06
is super enticing and gorgeous in itself, or
1:18:09
like, what is it that I actually want?
1:18:11
Or do I want to feel just
1:18:13
a general, more love from more places? And
1:18:16
do I want to feel supported
1:18:19
and like I'm growing and
1:18:21
like I'm being seen? And
1:18:24
if you really ask yourself that
1:18:26
question and then
1:18:28
you find an answer, which you might not, but if
1:18:31
you find an answer, then you
1:18:33
can start moving forward with what your
1:18:35
answer was. And for me, it
1:18:38
was really more of just like, I
1:18:40
really do want to just like have a greater, I
1:18:43
don't want all my eggs to be in one basket, you
1:18:45
know, because I don't know how life can go. Like things
1:18:47
happen, people die, people get sick, people, you
1:18:50
know, fall out. Like I, and I don't want
1:18:52
to be, I would love nothing
1:18:54
more than to meet my wife as I
1:18:56
walk out of the store today. But
1:18:58
like at the same time too, like, yeah,
1:19:01
I just want to, until that moment, I'd
1:19:05
love to be experiencing love also, you know? I
1:19:07
don't want to just wait till then, you know, so. There's
1:19:10
some fans outside waiting now, ready
1:19:13
to go. Sometimes
1:19:16
life can seem challenging and overcoming
1:19:18
problems can seem impossible. But
1:19:20
when you focus on your problems, it can keep
1:19:23
you from seeing the good in your life. One
1:19:25
thing that helps me when I need a change
1:19:27
in perspective is acknowledging the small wins in life.
1:19:30
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1:19:34
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1:19:37
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no, it's no I you know what that's what
1:22:16
I've always admired about you and I'm hearing it today I
1:22:18
hear it in the album like you've
1:22:20
just always focused on asking good questions Yeah, and
1:22:22
that's like your life like that's who you are
1:22:25
And I think that it's so
1:22:27
funny because as humans we get so
1:22:30
fixated on the answers We
1:22:32
get so fixated on just a few answers.
1:22:34
So we asked the same questions Yeah, like
1:22:36
will I ever find my person? Is this the
1:22:39
right person? Like we asked the same questions
1:22:41
and we don't ever get any better answers to
1:22:43
the same question Yeah, there's no answer to those
1:22:46
questions. There's no answer to those questions And
1:22:48
what I've seen in you is you're always trying to
1:22:50
ask like this wide array of questions Yeah that
1:22:53
you know, like where will it go? Yeah Like
1:22:55
isn't because the normal question to that will be
1:22:57
like like so when you're so in love and
1:22:59
your soul's touch But it's still not in love.
1:23:01
Where does it go? Most people would go? Well,
1:23:03
is that love or not? Yeah Does that mean
1:23:05
it was love? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's not
1:23:07
I don't question that there's zero doubt in
1:23:09
my mind That love is love. It's yeah,
1:23:11
it's like where does all
1:23:13
that love go to and I
1:23:16
think that question itself is like Oh it
1:23:18
that love is still completely here and able
1:23:20
to funnel into the same person if they're
1:23:22
willing to receive it in a
1:23:24
different light or funnel into anyone else around
1:23:26
you that you love, you know, and But
1:23:30
it's also like damn like
1:23:32
that Absolutely
1:23:34
sucks. Like that. There's just that is
1:23:36
just a Sucks,
1:23:40
you know, so I also
1:23:43
I also might have said like doesn't
1:23:46
that suck No,
1:23:51
but that's something I would have read Because
1:23:55
it does yeah, exactly the truth. Yeah goes back
1:23:57
to your point. Yeah of the truth. Yeah And
1:24:00
no, I really want to encourage people to, you know, I'm going
1:24:02
into my world a bit here, but everyone
1:24:04
who's listening and watching, I really hope this album
1:24:06
helps you ask different questions. Because
1:24:09
I feel like that's a real strength you have, and
1:24:11
I've learned through being in your company that you don't
1:24:13
really ask the same questions
1:24:16
that we all ask. And I think that's what's
1:24:18
led you on this beautiful journey and beautiful path
1:24:20
and been able to look at the
1:24:23
same things we all go through, but in a
1:24:25
different lens is because it's your ability to
1:24:28
always zoom out and ask a question that
1:24:31
isn't the obvious one. Oh, wow,
1:24:33
thank you. And it's really powerful, and I love
1:24:35
that it's through music, so. Yeah, sorry,
1:24:37
I went into bit self-development personal growth, but. No,
1:24:39
no, hey man, I'm right there. They
1:24:42
all know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, for sure,
1:24:44
for sure. There's a
1:24:46
couple more lyrics here that I
1:24:48
love because they're just so powerful in the love
1:24:51
and relationship space that I have to bring them out. This,
1:24:53
yeah, this one, so, but what about the in-betweens?
1:24:56
You lay your head on me, living for the
1:24:58
next time that we touch, isn't that enough? Yeah.
1:25:01
Talk me through that. Yeah, I think
1:25:03
similarly kind of to what we were just saying
1:25:05
is if you're always
1:25:07
focused on the highs,
1:25:10
you might be waiting a while to receive
1:25:13
something special, you know, and all
1:25:15
these beautiful in-between moments, like even like
1:25:17
for me, allowing myself to
1:25:20
kind of like love
1:25:24
the moment before the show and
1:25:26
after the show and the
1:25:28
morning and all
1:25:31
of that really, it
1:25:34
does a lot of things, actually takes pressure off of
1:25:36
the show to have to be such a big deal.
1:25:39
And then it also just helps
1:25:41
me enjoy the day generally, much
1:25:43
more, you know? If I
1:25:45
sit there all day being like, there's one important thing
1:25:47
today and that's the show, that's basically one and a
1:25:49
half, two hours of my day. What
1:25:52
about the rest of it? I
1:25:54
wanna enjoy the in-betweens too, because they
1:25:56
are beautiful, you know? Yeah,
1:25:58
because otherwise our lives just book. They're
1:26:01
just, our life we look back, it's just the
1:26:03
highs and lows, you know? Yeah,
1:26:06
that, oh wow, like yeah, that's, yeah,
1:26:09
and I find like it's also then your
1:26:11
life becomes a waiting for... What
1:26:15
the next day, yeah. Yeah, and so you're living
1:26:17
in constant anticipation. Constant anticipation. Or constant anxiety for
1:26:19
something to end. Yes. And
1:26:21
that's the only in between you have. Absolutely. It's still linked
1:26:23
to a beginning and an end. Yeah. So
1:26:26
I'm in anticipation of when will that good
1:26:28
thing come? Yeah. And then I'm an anxiety
1:26:30
of when will this good thing end? Yeah. Yeah.
1:26:34
Yeah. Oof. One
1:26:36
last one, which you go so vulnerable on, you
1:26:38
say, where is it? Visions of
1:26:40
a naked in my head. But
1:26:43
I went off and chose my self instead. Yeah.
1:26:47
Yeah. I mean, that's, that's,
1:26:52
there is a voice
1:26:54
maybe, call it a voice or a feeling, I
1:26:56
think, inside of us. That
1:27:00
says sometimes like, this is what you got to
1:27:02
do. You got to do something hard here, you
1:27:04
know? And our very human
1:27:06
side will do everything in its power to
1:27:08
get you not to do that. And
1:27:11
it will just like show you images and
1:27:15
movies and the best
1:27:17
plot you've ever, you know. Live
1:27:19
in the torment of like, I'm happy to be in
1:27:21
the in between. I think the reality is
1:27:23
no one will ever know what it's like to be in
1:27:25
our bodies and to
1:27:28
feel what we feel and to know where we
1:27:31
know we're going. Because
1:27:33
oftentimes where we know we're going is not
1:27:35
something we can express through words to other
1:27:37
people. It's just a sense, a
1:27:39
sense of where I'm headed. And no one's
1:27:42
ever going to understand that. So
1:27:45
I just,
1:27:47
that stuff is just noise in the wind
1:27:49
for me. It feels like
1:27:52
we're talking something so surface here
1:27:54
about something so immensely deep and
1:27:57
complex that it's not even worth
1:27:59
it. and worth my time to go into
1:28:01
the answer to those questions because there's not even an
1:28:04
answer to those questions. And it's not a sense
1:28:06
of, I think, choosing to
1:28:09
live in torment. I think it's exactly
1:28:11
like listening
1:28:13
to yourself and
1:28:16
trusting that. And I had
1:28:18
a friend who was
1:28:21
going through a hard decision and they asked me, like,
1:28:24
I said, you just got to follow your intuition. And I'm
1:28:26
like, what does that feel like? And I'm like, well, I
1:28:29
can't necessarily, I'm like, I don't know, like a
1:28:32
little thing in your stomach or your heart. I'm
1:28:34
like, I actually don't know. But
1:28:36
this is clearly exactly the moment that
1:28:38
you are about to learn what it
1:28:40
feels like. And if you can't find
1:28:42
that sense of intuition, then at that
1:28:44
point, I don't know what guides us.
1:28:47
Also, if you're not
1:28:49
sure, you might not be ready to make
1:28:51
the decision yet. Like, there is
1:28:54
a pressure to make decisions all the
1:28:56
time. I understand you
1:28:58
don't want to waste people's time. I understand
1:29:00
you don't want to do the wrong thing
1:29:02
prematurely, but some things just
1:29:05
need to play themselves out. And I
1:29:09
think that's just a reality too. So
1:29:12
allow yourself to get to that place, but don't
1:29:14
let yourself go over that place, please. I'm
1:29:17
going to say this too, but it's
1:29:19
an interesting reflection I'm having right now. I actually feel
1:29:21
with you, we get a sense
1:29:23
of your old soul when, I
1:29:26
ask you a superficial question. And
1:29:29
actually, like, and I haven't tried to ask
1:29:31
any profound questions today because that's not my
1:29:34
goal, but there's a beautiful simplicity of you
1:29:36
that comes out because you
1:29:38
would never answer a basic simple question
1:29:40
in a basic simple way. And
1:29:43
that's what I think actually
1:29:45
kind of demonstrates where your
1:29:47
consciousness is in a
1:29:49
beautiful way. And so it's just a thought I'm
1:29:51
having right now. I'm like, I'm never going to ask you a profound question
1:29:53
ever again in my life, because that's not
1:29:56
it for you. For you, your essence
1:29:58
comes out when you're having like, a conversation
1:30:00
that people would think is really normal. Yeah. But
1:30:03
you just don't look at it that way. Does
1:30:05
that make sense? Totally. I almost
1:30:08
can't compute. It's like the thing happens
1:30:10
in my head where I can't compute
1:30:12
surface. And I'm like, it's
1:30:15
not computing. We got to get under it. That's
1:30:18
how we get to see that you're not computing.
1:30:20
Oh, that's cool. Does that make sense? Yeah, totally.
1:30:23
I only realized it while having this conversation. I
1:30:25
was like, oh yeah. But
1:30:27
yeah, I wanted to show you something because
1:30:29
I sent it. You'll
1:30:31
probably guess who it's from, which
1:30:34
I thought was really beautiful. Oh,
1:30:36
yeah. That's
1:30:39
beautiful, man. It's
1:30:41
Tony crying. What
1:30:44
was he crying about? I have probably a lot
1:30:46
of things. He's going through a lot of beautiful things
1:30:49
in his life right now too. But these
1:30:51
are my people. I
1:30:54
talk about like an album is
1:30:56
not just about making music if you let it.
1:30:58
It can also be about completely
1:31:02
changing your life and the
1:31:04
relationship to the people you've made the album with.
1:31:08
What this has done for me and these guys, they
1:31:11
became friendships to lifelong
1:31:14
friendships. What does it feel like
1:31:16
being in this room 10 years? Dude.
1:31:19
Since that to me feels like such an
1:31:21
incredible journey that we're going to be a
1:31:23
part of here. To
1:31:26
sit in here 10 years older. You were what?
1:31:28
You were 16. 15
1:31:31
going on 16. Yeah, I remember singing
1:31:35
Treat You Better in here. I
1:31:38
love that song. I
1:31:40
remember just like so much
1:31:44
inner torment and so much breakthrough. This
1:31:46
is a place of breakthrough for me.
1:31:48
This is always where I found
1:31:51
the wall and I've broken through it. It's
1:31:54
just a magical little place. It's like
1:31:56
my version of Hogwarts here. And
1:32:02
I'm just so happy, like this time around, like
1:32:04
what I've been really trying to do is everything
1:32:07
to be really have a lot of intention
1:32:09
of just like, we're here right now,
1:32:11
you know, and we're upstate and I'm gonna play a
1:32:13
show in a few days
1:32:15
where I made the album and it's like, you
1:32:18
have to work so much harder to
1:32:20
curate an experience when you
1:32:22
just allow the story, you
1:32:25
just kind of let the story happen
1:32:27
and support that, and it
1:32:30
just feels like, yeah,
1:32:32
I needed a lot of holding and even
1:32:35
just through this week, like the first little
1:32:37
show I did yesterday, like I needed to
1:32:39
be in this room, this room knows how
1:32:41
to hold me and yeah, man, just cool.
1:32:46
I just love it here, I'll be here for
1:32:48
many more years. Yeah, I
1:32:51
think, I feel like everyone can
1:32:53
find a similar place
1:32:55
like this for themselves. It may not be
1:32:57
a place where they record music, but a
1:33:01
place that they can turn to and come to and be
1:33:03
held by and be embraced
1:33:05
by and feel rooted and
1:33:07
feel nourished and yeah, I
1:33:11
hope this acts as a symbol to encourage people to look
1:33:13
for that and it could just be
1:33:15
a little tree somewhere on a hike, it could just,
1:33:18
what's your take on that? Yeah, look
1:33:20
for it or be open to the
1:33:22
fact that you might be in it
1:33:24
and you might know it very well
1:33:27
and yeah, it's just having
1:33:30
a space that
1:33:32
holds the intention of
1:33:35
the place you go to lay
1:33:38
it all out, really, like lay
1:33:40
it all out and break through and struggle
1:33:43
and not all studios
1:33:46
feel like this, it's also
1:33:48
a beautiful town we're into, like this
1:33:50
town is special and being in nature,
1:33:53
that's just like in the
1:33:55
winter, it gets really different here too, it's
1:33:58
a whole story. You've
1:34:00
had rain and thunder in this interview. You've had rain
1:34:02
and thunder every day. It's beautiful. You've
1:34:04
been looking out. I've been looking at it behind
1:34:06
you. It was raining. Yeah. Yeah. Sean,
1:34:10
you talked about your
1:34:14
sister and I talked about mine. And
1:34:16
Elia actually sent us a note. No
1:34:19
way. My sister? Yes.
1:34:22
Oh no, I'm going to cry already. Is
1:34:24
it okay if I read it to you? Sure.
1:34:26
Yeah. Daddy, it's
1:34:28
okay. Yeah. Thank you for letting me
1:34:30
40 inland go. You
1:34:33
just left the exceeds. Alright
1:34:36
good, but you really helped us. Okay.
1:34:39
Welcome riding on the road. Where have we
1:34:41
gotten the most
1:34:55
amazing friend, brother, son,
1:34:58
mentor, and artist. I'm
1:35:01
truly at a loss for words to describe
1:35:03
how proud I am of you, how proud
1:35:05
we all are. Your
1:35:07
music today feels like the most
1:35:09
genuine and authentic art you've ever
1:35:11
created. It's filled
1:35:14
with vulnerability, fear,
1:35:17
diversity, patience,
1:35:20
humility, pain, and
1:35:22
a sense of home. But
1:35:25
above all, it feels unapologetically
1:35:27
and beautifully you. Watching
1:35:30
you grow over the years has been such a
1:35:32
privilege. I feel extremely lucky
1:35:35
to be by your side as your little
1:35:37
sister and to be a part
1:35:39
of this incredible process with you. You've
1:35:41
taught me so much about connecting with my own
1:35:44
heart and body, tapping into
1:35:46
embracing my truths and
1:35:48
living with more love, perspective, and
1:35:50
abundance. I absolutely
1:35:52
adore your eagerness to learn and
1:35:55
the way you listen so thoughtfully. Eagerness is
1:35:57
a kind word. And
1:36:00
I'll be honest, I really enjoy watching
1:36:02
your unique YouTube videos with you. Honestly,
1:36:06
you're like a real life freaking
1:36:08
cool superhero to me. Thank
1:36:11
you for having the courage to be imperfect and
1:36:13
for sharing that with the world. Your
1:36:15
compassion and kindness both towards yourself
1:36:17
and others are real superpowers. We
1:36:20
all feel the depth of your connection through
1:36:22
your authenticity. It shines in everything
1:36:24
you do. And it's especially
1:36:27
powerful in Sean, the album lol. This
1:36:30
connection you create through your music
1:36:32
has helped me feel more grounded in my own life.
1:36:36
And I know it will resonate with others in
1:36:38
just as meaningful a way. It's
1:36:41
like nine hearts with love so
1:36:43
deeply. Oh
1:36:45
man, that's so beautiful. Thank you. That means
1:36:47
a lot. I
1:36:50
love you, Alina. Oh
1:36:53
man, yeah. She's
1:36:56
my best friend. Over
1:36:58
the last six months, we've just gotten so close.
1:37:03
My little big sister too, I think when
1:37:05
you start letting your little
1:37:07
sister be your big sister sometimes, you know.
1:37:10
It's such a beautiful experience when
1:37:14
you see your pain turn
1:37:17
into something beautiful. And then people
1:37:20
start to feel that way. And you got to believe people
1:37:22
when they tell you, you know, especially in people in my
1:37:24
life. Like, she would not say that if she didn't mean
1:37:26
it. Even for you. And
1:37:29
so, yeah, I'm just I'm kind of in awe of it
1:37:31
all and grateful for it all because although I was there
1:37:34
every day doing it, like there
1:37:36
really was a greater thing
1:37:38
at play. And yeah,
1:37:41
man, it's been it's been the most
1:37:43
healing thing I've
1:37:46
ever done. Yeah, I really hope people
1:37:48
feel that way, to be honest. Yeah. No,
1:37:51
I mean, I wanted you to hear
1:37:53
it from her because I feel like we
1:37:58
all need to hear it. Yeah, we all need to. to
1:38:00
hear it. And I can imagine that
1:38:02
when you finish an album, it's actually the
1:38:04
beginning of then sharing it with the world.
1:38:07
And so my hope today internally was like, I want
1:38:09
you to feel so much love and
1:38:11
so much support and so much embrace
1:38:14
so that as you go out and... I
1:38:16
thought of it almost like this, like at the
1:38:18
beginning it's this little spark that's so
1:38:20
tender and you have the
1:38:23
people you really trust and you show them little
1:38:25
clips of it, little voice memos and they put
1:38:27
little, they put their little twigs on it and
1:38:29
that flame starts to grow. And then you start
1:38:31
showing other people and they put a log and
1:38:33
I almost imagined my team and my friends and
1:38:36
my family each placing logs on this fire. And
1:38:38
now we just have this like massive
1:38:40
bonfire going there. If there was a hurricane, it
1:38:42
wouldn't blow it out. And it's just like, all
1:38:45
right, now we're good. Give it to the world.
1:38:47
It can handle anything, you know? And
1:38:49
that's really what it feels like. It feels
1:38:51
so much greater than anything I could be
1:38:54
a part of. And, but thank
1:38:56
you. That's really so sweet, man. I love
1:38:58
you, man. I always have. It's
1:39:01
really special for me as well, because I
1:39:03
feel like I've
1:39:06
said this to you and I want to say it out loud. It's the... You
1:39:11
had every reason when I met you to
1:39:13
just keep doing what
1:39:16
would have been the right
1:39:18
business decision, the right professional decision, the
1:39:21
right artist decision from a
1:39:23
results standpoint. And I
1:39:26
think your
1:39:28
bravery and courage at your age and
1:39:31
the maturity to step back and
1:39:34
actually say, I'm going
1:39:36
to go on a deep inward journey. And
1:39:40
I don't even want to use the words find yourself
1:39:42
because that would mean that you've completed it and now
1:39:44
you're sharing it. So just go
1:39:46
on a journey of self discovery and
1:39:49
adventure. And then
1:39:52
to come back to this when you
1:39:56
feel you're ready to share wherever
1:39:58
you currently are. it
1:40:01
would have been so much easier to
1:40:03
just not think about these things in
1:40:06
the short term. In the short term. And as
1:40:09
I've said to you before, I've seen people do that
1:40:11
for three or four decades and
1:40:14
then finally figure it out. And
1:40:16
the fact that you chose to do it so young
1:40:18
is an immense credit
1:40:22
to your incredible family, your friends,
1:40:24
to you, your team,
1:40:28
and everyone around you because you
1:40:30
made the hardest, most difficult
1:40:33
decision in your position. And
1:40:36
I'm so happy to just see
1:40:38
the fruits of it. Me too,
1:40:40
man. Because I still remember so
1:40:43
many conversations of...
1:40:45
Infinite. All the little
1:40:47
seeds that we planted
1:40:49
of like tension
1:40:52
and love and hope
1:40:54
and everything. It's all just
1:40:56
everything's blooming. We're standing in the farm
1:40:58
of just like everything at the same...
1:41:01
It's almost overwhelming the amount that starts
1:41:03
to happen in the harvest and it's
1:41:05
just, yeah, this season. And
1:41:07
I'm so humbled that you allowed me to not
1:41:09
only walk parts of that
1:41:11
journey, little parts of that journey with you,
1:41:13
but have this opportunity today too because it's
1:41:17
rare that you get to live in these
1:41:20
cycles with people, especially when we're so busy.
1:41:22
And so I'm so grateful
1:41:24
that this is the first of our
1:41:26
hopefully forever cycles. Yes, sir.
1:41:28
And I'm with you all the way. I love you. I'm
1:41:30
rooting for you. Thank you, Jay.
1:41:32
I got your back through it all. Thank you, man.
1:41:34
I know you do. Yeah, I really appreciate you, man.
1:41:36
You too, man. We end every on
1:41:38
purpose with a final five, which
1:41:41
are a fast five. You have to answer each
1:41:43
question in one word to one sentence. Let's give
1:41:45
it a shot. Let's try this. They're not superficial.
1:41:47
Don't worry. I'm not like, what's your favorite food? You
1:41:50
start getting long winded questions. Question
1:41:53
number one. Sean, these are your fast five.
1:41:55
Question number one. What is the best advice
1:41:57
you've ever heard or received? Wow.
1:42:04
Nothing's coming to mind. That's
1:42:07
good. I like that already. It
1:42:09
all sums up in an
1:42:11
energy, I guess, more that's just like anytime
1:42:14
someone says
1:42:16
something that
1:42:19
just allows there to be more space, you know.
1:42:22
Question number two, what is the worst advice
1:42:24
you ever heard? Um,
1:42:28
to suck it up. Question number three, how would
1:42:31
you define your current purpose? I
1:42:34
would define my current
1:42:36
purpose with just being committed
1:42:39
to be the most
1:42:42
honest version of myself in
1:42:44
every moment, you know. Um, I have a lot
1:42:46
of trust in what that will do in this world. Um,
1:42:54
and I think I've learned so much like even just to be
1:42:57
here, I've learned so much
1:42:59
about following my truth into
1:43:01
the dark and feeling like I'm letting
1:43:03
people down. But how
1:43:05
that led me into creating a really beautiful healing album
1:43:08
and hopefully how that will pick
1:43:10
people up. And it's kind of
1:43:12
all part of it. Question four, how would you define
1:43:14
your purpose? I
1:43:16
love you guys and I am beyond grateful for your patience
1:43:18
and your love. And
1:43:22
it's a beautiful thing to be growing up
1:43:24
at the same time as you. And
1:43:27
so I hope a lot of
1:43:29
the words and the words that you've given
1:43:31
me, and
1:43:33
the words that you've given me, and
1:43:35
the words that you've given me, and the
1:43:38
words that you've given me, and
1:43:40
the words that you've given me, for
1:43:42
me to be Vanessa quote unquotesavethe And
1:44:00
so I hope you love it. A
1:44:04
little offshoot of that. Why was now the right time to
1:44:06
come back for you? There was a moment six months ago
1:44:08
when Andrew and a couple of people I
1:44:10
love, they kind of like were like, hey, can we just
1:44:12
play you back some ideas you've sent us that we think
1:44:14
are cool? And I was like, they're
1:44:16
probably not. And they brought me into the room and
1:44:18
they played them back. And I was like, these are
1:44:20
kind of cool. And it was
1:44:23
just very obvious to me that like, I
1:44:27
gotta go try, you know? I think oftentimes
1:44:29
people wait for inspiration to fall into their
1:44:31
lap before they try. And
1:44:34
then sometimes you gotta go in there and
1:44:36
chop wood and carry water for a few
1:44:38
days before inspiration strikes. And,
1:44:41
you know, three days of like, why am I
1:44:43
here? I should not be here. I'm not ready
1:44:46
to be here. The fourth day inspiration strikes. Six
1:44:48
months later, you forgot you ever were chopping wood and
1:44:51
carrying water. You were just enjoying yourself
1:44:53
and making art. And it just
1:44:56
changed, you know? So it's
1:44:58
the right time, I guess, just because it is. Did
1:45:01
you really wanna leave in those first three days?
1:45:04
Desperately, yeah. And it's funny how
1:45:06
quickly I forgot I wanted to leave
1:45:08
and how quickly it just turned into
1:45:10
passion and inspired to
1:45:13
make something beautiful again. Like almost
1:45:16
like a night and
1:45:18
day difference. Just, that's
1:45:20
how inspiration works sometimes. Feel
1:45:23
the fear and do it anyway. Exactly, yeah. They're not gonna
1:45:25
wait for it to be free of
1:45:27
fear and then take the step. Yeah,
1:45:29
no, no, no, the fear is like
1:45:31
the greatest thing because you're scared of
1:45:34
something and that something is probably something worth
1:45:36
writing about if you're a writer, you know?
1:45:40
If some final question we ask this to anyone who's ever
1:45:42
been on the show, the question is, if you had to
1:45:44
create one law that everyone in the world
1:45:46
had to follow, what would it be? The
1:45:49
law would be to say what you
1:45:51
really feel, you know? But
1:45:53
to say it in a way that doesn't really hurt people.
1:45:57
But like to speak the truth, you know, speak your
1:45:59
truth.
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