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500-500. Thank

2:00

you. In

2:33

2008, the Toronto

2:36

Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup.

2:41

Oh, it happened. In

2:44

the film, The Love Guru.

2:51

Written by and starring Toronto native

2:53

Mike Myers in a Justin Trudeau-esque

2:55

performance as Guru Pitka. The

3:00

much-anticipated follow-up to the Austin Powers

3:02

franchise was a commercial and critical

3:04

disaster. Given

3:07

the decades-long futility of the Toronto

3:09

Maple Leafs franchise, it's perhaps fitting

3:11

that their only Stanley Cup championship

3:13

since 1967 took place

3:15

in a movie that nobody saw or liked. But

3:19

despite the team's real-life struggles, it's

3:21

a testament to the delusional power

3:23

of fandom that the Leafs remain

3:26

in the top five in attendance

3:28

in the National Hockey League. And

3:30

it's a testament to the team's

3:32

imprint on the national psyche that

3:35

the country's biggest fast food chain

3:37

was founded by and named for

3:39

a Hall of Fame

3:41

Leafs defenseman. The

3:43

business-savvy enforcer opened his first donut and coffee

3:45

shop in 1964 in Canada's Hamilton.

3:52

No, not a hip-hop musical about first

3:54

prime minister Sir John MacDonald. But

3:57

a city in southern Ontario. Within

4:00

10 years, the chain had 40 stores. By the

4:02

90s, that number was 500, and today it's over

4:04

5,000. Its sales

4:06

alone account for over 20% of

4:09

the nation's food service industry. ["The

4:11

Star-Spangled Banner"] ["The Star-Spangled

4:14

Banner"] ["The

4:18

Star-Spangled Banner"] ["The Star-Spangled Banner"] ["The

4:23

Star-Spangled Banner"] I report

4:25

you decide. Tragically,

4:28

addiction cut its namesake's life short at the age

4:30

of 44, but his legacy

4:32

still towers, like the CN Tower.

4:38

According to the company, quote, 80%

4:40

of Canadians visited Tim's in Canada at

4:42

least once a month, end quote. If

4:46

you were born the year the maple leafs

4:48

last appeared in the Stanley Cup finals, you

4:50

celebrated your 57th birthday this year.

4:54

Since then, teams from the US state of

4:56

Florida, where hockey ranks sixth

4:59

in sports popularity after

5:01

the NFL, college football, Major

5:04

League Baseball, the NBA, and

5:06

NASCAR have made

5:08

the Stanley Cup finals eight times. It's

5:11

possible, even probable, that many young leafs fans

5:14

will go from the cradle to the grave without their

5:17

beloved team ever hoisting Lord

5:19

Stanley's Cup. But

5:24

perhaps the legendary leaf defenseman's

5:26

eponymous fried dough and roasted

5:28

bean institution may serve as

5:30

a sugary, caffeinated consolation prize.

5:34

To quote a past Doughboy's

5:36

guest, Ontario's own Norm Sousa,

5:38

quote, nothing more Canadian

5:40

than a donut shop named after a

5:42

hockey player. This

5:45

week on Doughboys, we begin Toronto Dough,

5:47

Dough Canada, the Great Bite North, a

5:49

month-long culinary tour of the six with

5:51

Tim Hortons. Yeah! Yeah!

6:00

It's the Doughboy. It's

6:02

the Doughboy. Wow.

6:12

Wow. Thank

6:16

you. Welcome

6:21

to Doughboy's the podcast about chain

6:23

restaurants. What's up, TDOT? With

6:31

the Doughboys here, it's more like low T-dot. Shout

6:34

out to Barry Lamb and the Dose Cord for that joke. So,

6:38

look, I just want to get right into it

6:40

because we have so much to cover. This is

6:42

such a huge chain. This is the definitive Canadian

6:44

fast food chain. So let's get them out here.

6:47

This week's roast is courtesy of

6:50

Ian Yamamoto. Let

6:55

me introduce my co-host, Bag

6:57

of Milk. The

7:00

spoon man, Mike Mitchell. What's

7:13

up, T-town? Wow.

7:19

More like low T-town. You stole my joke.

7:23

Do they call it T-town? No, but I'm going to try

7:25

to get it started. They

7:27

already have T-dot. I've been informed. Oh,

7:30

okay. I don't really give a shit, but... Toronto,

7:35

I've been in your city for two months,

7:37

and I still have no idea what the fuck your guy's

7:39

deal is. It's

7:42

a weird place, Wags. My

7:44

first day here, a guy

7:47

came up to me and he said, you're a fucking terrorist,

7:49

and he followed me for three blocks. Wait,

7:52

really? Yes, and that's the best person

7:54

I met in Toronto. Ha ha ha

7:56

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. aren't

8:00

nice. Wow. They're

8:03

aggressively passive aggressive. Interesting.

8:06

You're all fucking dickheads.

8:11

Trump's trying to get the wrong border

8:13

wall set up. You should go north.

8:15

Fucking lock you guys out of the

8:17

US you freaks. Why

8:20

would they want to go there? What's that? Why would

8:22

they want to go there? It sucks down there. Yeah

8:24

it sucks down there. Yeah yeah no no. It sucks

8:26

down there way worse than here. Never

8:29

in my life have I said I wish I was

8:31

in Buffalo New York until I was

8:34

in Toronto, Canada. This

8:38

can't be true. You must be having a lovely

8:40

time up here. I'm sure you're doing all right.

8:42

No. Wow. Well

8:46

Mitch I've had my own struggles as

8:48

you know. I had a I

8:50

got up at 4 a.m. in Los Angeles

8:52

this morning to board a 7 a.m. flight

8:56

and I had a long-standing obligation yesterday that

8:59

I had already made a commitment to so

9:01

I had to fly out this morning. There's

9:04

a freak-off Mitch. I

9:06

was gonna say you

9:09

get all this time off from Doughboys and then

9:11

Diddy gets arrested. Look. Your

9:13

freak-offs are over. They're just not

9:16

the same anymore. They're

9:19

not the same without Diddy. They're just not the same

9:21

without Diddy. No

9:24

I had our Mitch, our good

9:26

friend, my get-played co-host Matt Apodaca got

9:28

married yesterday. How about that?

9:30

That is not true. Congrats

9:32

to Matt and his lovely wife. So

9:36

I flew up and look

9:38

I'm fucking tired and I don't love

9:40

flying and you know travel in general

9:43

makes me very anxious but I'm

9:45

honestly feeling pretty good landing on in

9:47

Toronto nothing gets delayed I feel like

9:49

I'm sitting pretty I'm gonna have a

9:51

great time. My

9:54

bag remains in LAX. So

9:57

that's what you get when you fill it up with baby oil. I

10:00

came straight from a freak

10:02

off. What do you expect?

10:10

Loose baby oil? It wasn't even in bottles? Yeah,

10:17

so a little bit of an ordeal, but still,

10:19

we're hanging in there. And let me tell you

10:22

this. It's very cool

10:24

to see in person the airport referred

10:26

to by the code YYZ. What the

10:28

fuck are you talking about? I'll

10:40

send you a Rush Starter Pack

10:42

playlist, Mitch. Do some homework. Toronto

10:45

is like New York. Rest

10:49

in peace, Neil Peart, the only good

10:51

libertarian. Oh

10:53

shit. Toronto

10:55

is like New York if you put it in a

10:57

juicer and

10:59

juiced out any interesting things. And

11:03

then you were left with

11:05

traffic and little

11:07

Canada, that exhibit of

11:09

small Canada. That's

11:12

all it has. And

11:16

why is there so much traffic? There's nothing to

11:18

do here. Where is

11:20

everyone going? Have you been

11:22

to little Canada? Fuck no.

11:26

It looks so... It's little

11:29

Toronto, isn't it? Where do

11:31

your hoggle want to move in? Everything's

11:35

to scale, okay. There

11:41

is a thing, there's a machine where

11:43

they like little Canada you down to

11:46

size. Really? Yes, it's true, right? They

11:48

downsize you? They downsize you. Wow. They

11:51

shrink you down, then they put you in the exhibit. That's

11:53

so fun. I'm

11:56

gonna try to do some fun touristy things because

11:58

we're up for a stretch. should

12:00

say. As you maybe have

12:02

inferred from this graphic and I'm not sure how

12:04

much went on on social

12:06

media so far, but this is Torrance Doe,

12:08

Doe Canada, the Great Bite North, the culinary

12:10

tour of the six. We're going to be

12:12

spending all month at

12:15

Canadian chain restaurants. Starting

12:19

things off with Tim Hortenslide. We had no

12:21

choice. Yeah. We

12:24

haven't done anything. If you listen to the podcast, we're

12:26

pretty behind. I didn't

12:28

listen, but Nellie told me that our most

12:31

recent episode, and this episode is coming out

12:33

in the first week in October, our most

12:35

recent episode, you tell me about Hawk Tua.

12:41

I'm like, what's that? She's

12:45

had a whole arc. We

12:50

missed so much stuff. We really did. I think this

12:52

is a great, this will be a nice

12:55

way to figure

12:57

out how to deal with the logistics of your schedule.

12:59

I like that we're making a meal out of it.

13:01

I like that we're being able to hit some of

13:03

these big Toronto totemic chain restaurants. I'm going to give

13:06

a little bit of the lineup so

13:08

you know what else we're going to be reviewing. I think

13:10

this is fun breaking chews here. We're

13:14

going to, so there's five Thursdays in

13:17

the month of October. Tim Hortenslide, just

13:19

today. Next week,

13:21

Harvey's. Then

13:28

Swiss Chalet. Which

13:36

pizza chain are we going to cover? Boston

13:39

Pizza. I

13:42

don't know why people wanted it over

13:44

pizza pizza. Pizza pizza seems like a stronger

13:46

thing. I won't reveal the fifth. The

13:48

fifth is a mystery chain and I

13:50

think it'll be a fun reveal when

13:52

you discover what it is in real

13:54

time. Those are some big ones. We've already

13:56

done A&W Canada in the past. The

13:58

Poutine smokes poutine-ery. We've done some big ones

14:00

already. Yeah, it's gonna be fun. Gonna be a hoot. What's

14:04

up, Wags? We, I, Mitch, I told

14:06

you that I wanted

14:08

to talk about Megalopolis before our guests come out. All

14:11

right. Did anyone see Megalop- Oh, I was

14:13

supposed to say, uh. Did anyone see Megalopolis?

14:17

Can I say my thing, too? Oh, yeah, please. Salute

14:20

ho to nation clear. Wow.

14:27

Mitch, you may not- I made it French for you,

14:29

you fucking asshole. You may not

14:31

know that, but that's a nice amouge-boosh for what's

14:33

about to come next. But we'll get there in

14:35

a second. Okay. There's

14:38

a character in Megalopolis, Aubrey Plaza's

14:41

character. Aubrey Plaza's great

14:43

in the movie. We both worked with her.

14:46

A lovely person, very talented. Her

14:49

character's name is Wow Platinum. Now,

14:52

Mitch, what is the word we

14:54

say more than any other word on the podcast? Come.

14:58

Okay. Number

15:00

two. Wow. Wow. Wow.

15:04

And what is the highest honor a chain

15:06

restaurant can achieve on

15:08

the Doughboy's podcast? Uh. If

15:12

it gets five forks from everyone. It's

15:18

fucking- The Come Play Club? No,

15:20

it's not the Come Play Club. Platinum Play

15:22

Club. The Platinum Play Club. Wow, Platinum.

15:25

I think Francis Ford Coppola is

15:27

Doughpil. He's a listener. He's a Doughboy's

15:29

listener. He's a Doughboy's listener. And

15:34

you know what that makes sense, because we're a Coppola

15:36

goofballs. We

15:40

are a Coppola- We are a Coppola goof- No,

15:44

I said it wrong too. We are a

15:47

Coppola goofballs. Yeah. Why

15:50

is a lot of people came, a lot of

15:52

Doughboy's listeners came from the States. They came from

15:54

all over. Wow, wait, wait. Who here is from

15:56

Toronto or Ontario? All right. Okay.

16:00

Good number. Who came

16:02

from another province? Whoa! Insane.

16:06

Because my understanding is every province is like a

16:08

20 plus hour drive. Every

16:11

province is like the size of Texas. Who

16:14

came from the States? Did anyone come from the US?

16:17

Wow. Wow. Man,

16:20

all these Doughboys fans here, the

16:23

ladies in Canada are gonna be Canada dry.

16:25

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

16:27

ha ha ha ha ha ha. We should

16:30

gather up all these fans and go to Niagara and

16:32

see if it dries up. I'm

16:39

saying our fans can't get women to come. That's

16:41

what I'm trying to say. Yeah, no, I understood.

16:43

I understood what you were saying. Or just aroused

16:45

in the first place. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't even

16:48

arouse. Yeah, it's better. No, it's fine. There's a

16:50

lot of cast mates from Twisted Metal season two

16:52

here. How about that? They're losing respect for me

16:54

by the second. Didn't have to invite them. Yeah,

16:56

that's a good point. I shouldn't have. And they

16:58

don't have respect for me anyways. Anyways, well. Mitch,

17:00

Mitch, you had, you said a little bit of

17:02

French a moment ago. Yes. And

17:04

as our audience knows, Canada

17:07

has two national languages, English and

17:10

French. And so, in

17:12

compliance with the Canadian

17:14

Official Languages Act of 1969, to

17:19

present a French language version of

17:21

this week's intro, please welcome Miguel

17:23

Gaultier. ["I Know A

17:25

Girl Need Me So She's Gonna

17:28

Be Good"] What's

17:37

up? Hey, not much. ["I

17:39

Know A Girl Need Me So She's Gonna Be Good"] Ha

17:48

ha ha ha ha! I shouldn't have asked you that,

17:51

honestly. It's all right. I'm

17:54

gonna talk in French now, so. Yeah, whenever you're ready.

17:57

La denier fois que l'imipo lipe sain gangel a cup

17:59

stand li. which is by Lenny deTLvwCreat.

18:02

It's served in the film The Loveguru. And,

18:07

for me, it friendship. The

18:09

designer of Toronto has been once roadshare down

18:13

the road with the ArabicThe R Gowoon. Two

18:16

or three things of Exam Powers should laugh and

18:18

curtis. Control

18:21

the shrunken 1080 Uni normal

18:26

when you see the show from Understandley

18:29

classic, and read everything for

18:31

the good of both. In

18:34

my mind, experience in the film in

18:36

the present part mainly

18:38

with the Happy Summer the

18:41

performance of the movie in style of the series

18:46

Big sentence. In

18:49

the next few days, the production of the

18:51

type from a boat with Ultrasy and

18:54

Maths for Spain is the part where children play

18:57

in the different world in

18:59

its same character the movie started with

19:02

also from theCh from my magazine

19:24

in which we wanted to play we

19:28

wanted to play it in its own

19:32

way at

19:36

the end of the day we wiki-ed the fry but

19:41

narrative my

19:44

Thore approaching the

19:48

movie participating

19:51

to slice the battle of

19:53

Fine Sim now saying the

19:58

pill has kept the flurid We will

20:00

take you to the talk-it horse race, the

20:03

officialifers of NFL, the food

20:05

tobag universe, league

20:09

of baseball, NBA

20:12

and NASCAR. Let's

20:16

21st FIFA historyswear the Big Bang. Did

20:19

you raise the envelope because we could do all

20:22

of the United States ind Karimov It

20:28

counts as an individual title It's

20:30

reported becoming the anti- honoured record

20:36

harparty of the Wooested Norm

20:42

Sousa I

20:45

felt alot,ersivelyberg way of playing therapy leading

20:47

into hockey. Let's end

20:49

this talk, Take first

20:52

yourlicious ac goggles. F

20:55

cap and balls, pate

20:58

jera, no bangies, no drois,

21:00

ocame a sa torontour, a tour-culinare

21:02

de moi avec Tim Hortons Wow

21:08

Miguel everybody, Miguel Gautier, Miguel have a seat real

21:11

quick. Wow.

21:16

Wow. Wow. Miguel

21:19

what a waste of your time and everyone else's.

21:23

And my aunts who helped me translate

21:25

that. Yes, you told me this and

21:28

thank you so much for helping us out. Of course, of course. That

21:30

was awesome. My pleasure. You translated

21:32

that but also you had assistance from

21:35

your aunt who is a professional translator

21:37

and also... A nun. A

21:39

nun. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, she's

21:41

a nun. She's really cool.

21:43

That makes me feel sad. She's

21:47

got nothing better to do. Oh no. Her

21:52

full time job is like believing in God

21:54

I guess. That's nice. That's

21:57

nice. You get it. Yeah. So

21:59

okay. This

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at babbel.com/doughboys. crazy

1:20:00

about it just because you know

1:20:02

if you're gonna put rice in something you gotta give me a heads

1:20:04

up you know what I mean at any meal

1:20:06

you got to let me know that rice is coming that's tiny I

1:20:08

could joke I need to know has

1:20:11

it been rinsed I need to know why

1:20:13

you know I think corporations are gonna text

1:20:15

you or let you know because I sign

1:20:17

up for it that's why I tear it

1:20:19

open I'm never gonna bite a

1:20:24

burrito from the butt end without knowing what's going

1:20:26

on right you did do it

1:20:30

was good I liked it I would I would eat one

1:20:32

of those for lunch I

1:20:34

if in a pinch and I

1:20:36

will say I had an airport

1:20:39

breakfast burrito this morning that was

1:20:42

the like if I'd have I would have

1:20:44

killed for a Tim Hortons to your breakfast

1:20:46

as opposed to that the the airport breakfast

1:20:48

burrito I had was so it was

1:20:52

it was so flavorless

1:20:54

it was like eating a paper

1:20:56

towel roll and I

1:20:58

doused it with hot sauce to try to bring it

1:21:00

to life but it was it was disgusting like I

1:21:02

hated it was just like I'm just eating it cuz

1:21:04

I need anything in my body for

1:21:07

you know for my one meal before eat Tim Hortons and

1:21:10

yeah it's so from that standpoint I do

1:21:12

think there are items that work I did think

1:21:14

the soup what I had of it was was

1:21:16

tasty I think that was like that was like

1:21:18

that's a quality soup that's like a but a

1:21:21

Panera tier or maybe a little better than Panera

1:21:23

tier soup which for a chain restaurant

1:21:25

that's not bad yeah the

1:21:27

flatbread was exigreble

1:21:31

I was truly putrid and

1:21:34

there Mitch you liked one of them I didn't

1:21:37

like any of it embarrassingly bad the cheese pizza

1:21:39

I thought was okay no you know I know

1:21:41

he's like

1:21:45

bad I am not joking three

1:21:47

minutes later he was like I agree

1:21:50

I ate the chicken

1:21:53

parm pizza I told you I don't know if

1:21:55

I'm gonna a bar for shit and I

1:21:58

said and thank you for this love review.

1:40:00

This is why they're so nice like they're just like

1:40:04

they are not nice first of all. They're

1:40:06

nice they're really nice they

1:40:09

talk a lot of shit behind your back though.

1:40:12

Second of all you all like Tim

1:40:14

Hortons. Yes you do

1:40:16

you're lying to me. Think

1:40:19

about it just think about it for a second you

1:40:22

like it. Mitch you don't have

1:40:24

to like everywhere you go okay

1:40:26

I'm here aren't I? I'm

1:40:29

kidding I was so happy when they asked

1:40:31

me you have no idea. I have to

1:40:34

move around a little bit. Stephanie is standing

1:40:36

moving around the stage. We

1:40:39

took bets on you leaving the

1:40:41

show much earlier. Tim

1:40:45

Hortons is good. No fuck

1:40:47

you. Don't try to get

1:40:50

them back now. I'm not

1:40:52

it's done it's over. I

1:40:55

like Tim Hortons and

1:40:57

that's okay. Wow I

1:41:01

like it. I'm

1:41:04

not pandering I like Tim Hortons.

1:41:06

Wow. You know what Sparky

1:41:08

did tell me well Sparky also did tell

1:41:10

me that the beans they took the beans.

1:41:12

Okay. But then Sparky also

1:41:14

told me that that Mrs. Horton was left with

1:41:16

like so little money and I

1:41:19

don't know if that was true or not. I'm

1:41:21

sorry is Sparky okay? Sparky

1:41:26

rules but he might not know anything.

1:41:28

He was telling

1:41:30

me a bunch of stories I don't know

1:41:32

of any of them. He was talking shit

1:41:34

behind people's backs. I think a lot of

1:41:36

myths about Tim Hortons have circulated actually didn't

1:41:38

look into what happened to Tim Hortons estate

1:41:41

I would not be shocked if someone else

1:41:43

profited more off of his name than he

1:41:45

ever did. I mean that's that's the tale

1:41:47

of almost time. I like how Tim Horton

1:41:49

lived. I like how he died. Oh no

1:41:51

no no. In

1:41:53

that horrible car accident. He's

1:41:56

a trailblazer for guys like me. Well,

1:42:00

what would you guys do if I just like shot into the

1:42:02

sky? I

1:42:07

love that I apologize to Stephanie for not

1:42:09

getting her the donut and I'm going to

1:42:11

have to apologize for giving her the money.

1:42:13

I feel crazy inside. We

1:42:15

sadly, I'm we're not affected by this. I

1:42:17

felt my heart pump for the first time

1:42:19

in like a week. Yeah. I

1:42:23

what do you want? Beat per minute.

1:42:27

The doctor's happy. I'm going to be I'm a beat

1:42:29

per minute. No, I do. I can feel

1:42:31

my pulse like, don't go. OK,

1:42:34

give your forks. I'm sorry. It's OK. It's OK.

1:42:36

I did. I did. I'm a willing participant. I'm

1:42:39

sorry. I

1:42:42

like the podcast. I listen to the podcast

1:42:44

and stuff. Please don't die

1:42:46

on my can't be my fault. I

1:42:51

like Tim Horton. I like the like I said, I like the way you

1:42:53

live. I like the way that I and

1:42:57

you know what? I like his donuts. It reminds

1:42:59

me of Duncan. Now they put D on the

1:43:01

cap of the double double. It reminds

1:43:03

me of Duncan Donuts. I know that maybe it's not as

1:43:06

good as you once had, but the

1:43:08

farmer's rap is fantastic. All

1:43:11

the donuts I had were good. I like the

1:43:13

coffee. I like coffee like this. I like it

1:43:15

better than fucking Starbucks. It's

1:43:18

a lot better. I

1:43:20

like it. And the ice cap

1:43:22

is good. You're chugging water. This

1:43:24

is bad. The

1:43:27

Hamilton is a hard work in citywax.

1:43:35

And I fucking relate to that. I

1:43:38

know that I'm an actor and I'm on set. You

1:43:41

relate to it. Do you relate to what makeups like?

1:43:43

Oh, you're a little shiny here. And when they bring

1:43:45

you a tiny fan to help your sweat. You

1:43:47

know what? I'm like, that's what they're experiencing next door in

1:43:49

the steel mills in Hamilton. Tiny

1:43:52

fan. This guy's drowning in towels.

1:43:58

And you know what? Oh my

1:44:00

god, I just chugged out the whole water. Oh

1:44:02

my god. The price is right. Am I gonna

1:44:04

die? Amelia's brought in another water, there you go.

1:44:06

Look in the hell. Look. Stephanie's

1:44:10

last credit is one of her best, Doughboy's Live.

1:44:14

Something you could be proud of for your last credit.

1:44:16

True, that's true. It's

1:44:19

the prices, or working class prices.

1:44:22

Me and the boys from the mill, we can go

1:44:24

down. I'm gonna fuckin'... Come

1:44:28

on, boys. Tim's

1:44:31

on me, boys, let's go. I'm

1:44:34

drivin'. No,

1:44:37

you're not. You have a driver. You

1:44:40

literally have a driver. Sparky's drivin'.

1:44:46

And you know what? If you all look in

1:44:48

your souls, you know that

1:44:50

you like Tim's too. You're

1:44:53

lying to yourself. Five

1:44:56

fuckin' forks. Fuck

1:45:00

you. Oh my god. Fuck,

1:45:06

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. It's

1:45:08

out, it's out, it's out. Yay! Wow.

1:45:12

Fuck the towels! Fuck the maple leaves. Fuck

1:45:16

all you. There

1:45:18

is a back entrance. No, no.

1:45:21

I'm sorry, did you say maple leaves? As in

1:45:23

the team, or the leaf? Maple

1:45:25

leaves. No, no, no. No, no,

1:45:27

no, no. As in the team, or

1:45:29

the leaf? Maple leafs. Sorry,

1:45:31

I forgot they spell it wrong. Fuckin' idiots. I just

1:45:33

didn't know, I just didn't know if you had a

1:45:35

problem with a leaf. Go Bruins, fuck you. Five forks.

1:45:46

I missed when he was joking. Mitch

1:45:50

with the go home heat, but you're gonna be

1:45:52

up here for another few months. What are you

1:45:54

doing to yourself? Yeah, I'm gonna get my ass

1:45:56

kicked probably. None of the boys

1:45:58

from Hamilton got my ass kicked. back. Look,

1:46:02

we're up against the clock, so I'll keep my

1:46:04

thoughts quick. I

1:46:07

mentioned that my first time

1:46:16

eating Tim Hortons was in Saskatoon

1:46:19

with the two of you, and

1:46:21

also with our friend

1:46:23

and past boys, double-guessed, and

1:46:25

Edmonton resident Nick Ross. Nick

1:46:29

sent me his thoughts on

1:46:31

Tim Hortons, and I want to read some of these now, because

1:46:34

I think this is honestly speaks

1:46:36

to sort of where the national character

1:46:39

is, where the national consensus is on

1:46:41

this chain. It

1:46:43

used to be so much better. Fresh

1:46:45

donuts made in-house and good breakfast sandwiches,

1:46:47

but it got bought by foreign investment,

1:46:49

and now everything is shipped in frozen.

1:46:51

They are actively getting in their own

1:46:53

way with revamped items that have no

1:46:55

business being there, like flatbread pizzas. It

1:46:58

used to be the most Canadian chain, but

1:47:01

now I feel like A&W Canada is just

1:47:03

so much better in every way. Wow. A&W

1:47:06

Canada, the number four chain restaurant

1:47:09

in terms of locations in Canada now. It's

1:47:11

a restaurant that really needs to go back

1:47:13

to basics, because even people I know prefer

1:47:15

McDonald's coffee, and coffee was supposed to be

1:47:17

the thing they were known for. Nothing about

1:47:19

the beanstheff. Nothing about the beanstheff is in

1:47:21

here, Mitch. They

1:47:23

used to have an annual contest called Roll

1:47:25

Up the Rim to Win, where

1:47:28

you could win by rolling up the paper rim

1:47:30

of your cup to see if there was a

1:47:33

prize, and they linked that to a digital app

1:47:35

and took the joy from it. It's

1:47:40

the wave of the future, back off. Kills

1:47:42

me because I wish Tim Hortons was good

1:47:44

enough that it would be a recommendation for

1:47:46

any foreigner coming to Canada, but

1:47:49

it isn't. But also

1:47:51

in a sense, it is, because

1:47:53

it's so ubiquitous and it's so

1:47:55

Canadian. And so I think this

1:47:58

belongs right in the middle of the world. middle

1:48:00

of our bell curve. I think,

1:48:02

slightly below the middle of our bell curve,

1:48:04

I think Tim Hortons as it currently stands

1:48:06

is better than Starbucks, low bar, maybe

1:48:09

a little better than Duncan overall? No

1:48:12

fucking way. And

1:48:15

I think it deserves two and a half forks.

1:48:19

Here we go, much more reasonable. All

1:48:22

right. We got a

1:48:24

food stuff we're gonna decide if it's worth putting

1:48:26

in your mouth, it's snack or whack. Now

1:48:28

look, here's the thing, we can't review every Canadian chain,

1:48:31

but there is a pretty big one we

1:48:33

want to acknowledge. Stephanie's gonna move around. We

1:48:35

have more sugar coming, and we

1:48:37

are, you have no obligation to have any of it,

1:48:39

but we do want to acknowledge a big one, Beaver

1:48:42

Tails. Beaver

1:48:45

Tails was a Canadian pastry chain founded in 1978

1:48:47

that has a distinct signature,

1:48:49

I guess torso-sized pastry they're

1:48:51

gonna taste as. You can have a bite,

1:48:53

or you also don't

1:48:56

have to have any. Anyway, to bring out some

1:48:58

Beaver Tails, please welcome Amelia Marino. Thank

1:49:03

you again, Amelia. Wow,

1:49:12

Beaver Tails, oh I guess these are

1:49:14

a little bit, this is more

1:49:16

like the size of a Nintendo switch, I

1:49:19

guess, in terms of scale. You're saying it's

1:49:21

not as big as a Beaver's Tail? Wait

1:49:23

a minute, I guess it

1:49:25

is the size of a Beaver's Tail, I don't know, I've

1:49:27

never seen a Beaver in person, not from here. If

1:49:33

you're from here, you've seen a Beaver in person for sure.

1:49:39

What are you gonna say? I was gonna say that this crowd

1:49:41

gets a treat, they get to watch the Doughboys eat Beaver for

1:49:43

the first time. How am

1:49:50

I doing? You'll

1:50:00

get there, you'll get there. Amelia, come back

1:50:02

out here. Amelia,

1:50:04

Amelia. Thank you so much

1:50:06

for all of your help. Thank you for being up here in

1:50:09

Toronto. It is your actual birthday today. Yes it

1:50:12

is. Wow.

1:50:18

Well well. Happy

1:50:21

birthday to you. Happy

1:50:25

birthday to you.

1:50:29

Happy birthday

1:50:31

dear Amelia.

1:50:34

Happy birthday to

1:50:36

you. Yes! Yeah!

1:50:44

Emma has brought out a tear tail

1:50:46

with candles. Thank you guys. This

1:50:48

is too nice. Thank

1:50:51

you. Happy birthday. Thank

1:50:54

you everyone. That's too sweet. You

1:50:57

know what? You know what I bet you wished for? For

1:50:59

Frankenstein to be okay. That

1:51:02

is true. That is so true. Thank

1:51:04

you guys. I'm gonna eat that

1:51:06

later. Thank you everyone.

1:51:12

I don't think you should take a bite of these. I'm

1:51:14

on the come down now. Now I feel like moooo. Okay.

1:51:16

Perfect time to eat more sugar. Yeah, I

1:51:18

can't wait. We have a regular

1:51:20

beaver tail. This

1:51:22

looks like some sort of Oreo cookie. This

1:51:26

is like a vanilla and choco. And

1:51:28

then we've got a strawberry cream cheese. This

1:51:32

is the strawberry cream cheese. This

1:51:34

looks horrible. I'm not gonna

1:51:37

lie. So we got a dog shit

1:51:39

one as well. Did we order the dog

1:51:41

shit one? We ordered the dog shit one. They

1:51:45

were out of cat shit is the thing. That was our first

1:51:47

choice. Are you sure? It

1:51:51

looks like fair food. That looks really unappetizing. But

1:51:54

that one might be good. I

1:51:56

would not be shocked if that was like secretly good. There's a little bit

1:51:58

of toffee on it or something. Yeah, it might be good. Okay,

1:52:00

okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, we're

1:52:03

gonna do this now. Is that the plane one? I'm eating the

1:52:05

birthday one. Sorry, Amelia. Alana,

1:52:07

you have, you enjoy Beaver Day. You

1:52:09

like the Beaver Day. I do. My

1:52:11

favorite is the original one that's like

1:52:13

cinnamon and sugar that Mitch is having.

1:52:16

Sometimes people put lemon on it. Anybody

1:52:18

here? Yeah, lemon. It's really good. I

1:52:21

find, because you know these are pretty thin,

1:52:23

so I find when it has too many

1:52:25

toppings it falls apart and it's too gooey

1:52:27

and then I'm too concerned about the mess

1:52:29

to enjoy myself. So me, I'm keeping

1:52:31

it clean. Stick

1:52:34

them with your rich. That cinnamon

1:52:36

sugar one is just kind of like a flat churro. That's

1:52:38

exactly what I was about to say. That is exactly

1:52:40

what I was about to say. We have fun up

1:52:42

here. I like it. Yeah,

1:52:45

we'll do it our way. We'll flan out anything.

1:52:47

We don't care. We really don't. Mitch,

1:52:51

you look like something? Are

1:52:53

you okay? You all right? I

1:52:56

don't want to eat any of the beaver tail. You

1:52:59

don't have to. You don't have to.

1:53:01

Am I right? Well,

1:53:04

well, well. No, that's not what this

1:53:06

is. I do this all the time.

1:53:09

You don't have to, Mitch. I

1:53:11

just feel so sick from Tim Hortons. Well, don't, yeah,

1:53:13

if you're not feeling great, don't do it. You gave

1:53:16

it five! It was

1:53:18

good. It's good. Honestly,

1:53:21

I love the place. I'm going

1:53:24

to puke, but I love the place. What is

1:53:26

that on the face?

1:53:29

This is a nightmare to try to saw through.

1:53:31

It's not, uh... That's what I'm saying. You

1:53:33

have to pull it apart. There's no other way to do it. This isn't

1:53:36

like a sharing... No, that's the thing. It's just like you're grabbing it,

1:53:38

and then this thing's just like coated with topping. My hands are just

1:53:40

going to get, uh... I'm just

1:53:42

taking bites out of each of them. So goopy. Did

1:53:46

you remember, uh... I can't remember what it was called.

1:53:48

It was a chain in the US called, like, Godfather's

1:53:50

Pizza. Yeah, Godfather Pizza. Herman Cain worked

1:53:52

it. It does taste like dessert pizza. That was

1:53:54

his company, yeah. Yeah. Herman Cain, who

1:53:56

had a quixotic presidential run. in

1:54:00

2012 maybe, and yeah, he was the

1:54:02

godfather of godfather's pizza. That was his company.

1:54:05

They're pretty fucking good on us. Can I try that one

1:54:07

too? Sorry. I've enjoyed what

1:54:09

I've eaten. I've changed my mind. I want to try each one.

1:54:13

Wow. We should say we took, we got

1:54:15

to that, you know, we got to take the metro over

1:54:17

here, which I really enjoyed. Very happy to hop on the

1:54:19

choo-choo. Alana, you were an able guide on

1:54:22

the subway. Very, very fun. We had one point where

1:54:24

we went out of a tunnel and we went into

1:54:26

greenery and it was very lush. It was beautiful. I

1:54:28

was like, oh, how fun is this? We

1:54:31

had another bit of fun, which

1:54:33

is there is a stop called

1:54:35

Castle Frank, which

1:54:43

Mitch and I were both delighted by. I

1:54:46

loved it. And then we also, we talked about

1:54:48

how Frankenstein lives there. That's where his castle is.

1:54:50

Yeah. It got in an

1:54:52

accident driving home. But

1:54:55

then you said that Alana, this is like kind of

1:54:57

a known stop because people have some affection for it

1:54:59

because no one goes there. Yeah.

1:55:04

So it's just one of those stops that's just there. And like, there's some

1:55:06

of these in LA like metro system too,

1:55:08

that's just like, it doesn't seem like anyone ever

1:55:10

gets on or gets off, but it's just part

1:55:12

of the system. Did you see anyone get on

1:55:14

or off? No. Well, Frankenstein lives there. They're probably

1:55:16

scared. Good point. Didn't

1:55:18

have any torches or pitchforks. I was tickled

1:55:20

by that. I was delighted to go by

1:55:22

Castle Frank. Me too.

1:55:24

I loved it. And

1:55:28

I got to be honest, part of my

1:55:30

affection for it was, my

1:55:37

full legal name is Nicholas Frank

1:55:39

Weiger. And

1:55:44

sometimes I go by Frank, which means

1:55:46

this time for this week in Canadian

1:55:48

hot dog news and another edition of

1:55:50

Let Me Be Frank. Hot

1:56:03

dog, steamer in the city, greater my

1:56:05

grill, getting greasy and gritty Toast

1:56:07

bone, don't it look pretty Suckin' on a dog

1:56:09

like you're suckin' on a titty Pork

1:56:12

and beef, sausages and long bread Rollin' on a

1:56:14

roller grill, mustard ain't real One

1:56:17

bite is a different world, I swapped off

1:56:19

bites with a girl Munch

1:56:21

on, munch on and chomp all night Just bite

1:56:23

the fucks, it'll be alright That

1:56:25

taste, when the casing has snapped Later

1:56:27

that day, you'll sure have to nap

1:56:29

As it simmers in the city, like

1:56:32

you're suckin' on a titty You

1:56:36

ain't nothin' but a hot dog, fryin'

1:56:39

all the time You

1:56:42

ain't nothin' but a hot dog, fryin'

1:56:45

all the time You

1:56:48

ain't never been a burger and you ain't

1:56:50

no lunch of mine They

1:56:53

said you a sandwich, well

1:56:55

that was just a lie They

1:56:58

said you a sandwich, well

1:57:01

that was just a lie Just

1:57:04

a bun around a wiener so you

1:57:06

sure don't qualify If

1:57:10

you could eat my

1:57:12

Frank Weiss, what a

1:57:15

taste that dog would have Just

1:57:26

like in old time

1:57:28

Frankfurt, one you get

1:57:30

from a baseball game In

1:57:34

a bun so soft, with

1:57:36

a mustard squirt and

1:57:39

onions diced on top You

1:57:43

know that Frank's for me,

1:57:46

and it will never be

1:57:49

for free As

1:57:51

long as it's a Frank that

1:57:54

you eat In

1:58:14

this society, is

1:58:16

this where we're eating? The

1:58:18

only Frankfurter that's available to us? My

1:58:22

plan is a wiener people can dream

1:58:24

about. A

1:58:26

hot dog opolis. When

1:58:31

a fast food empire dies, does

1:58:33

it collapse in one terrible E. coli

1:58:36

poisoning scandal? No, but

1:58:39

there comes a meal when people

1:58:41

no longer eat there. Imagine

1:58:45

today's society as a sausage link

1:58:47

of civilization about to reach a

1:58:49

burnt end. Don't

1:58:52

let the chow destroy

1:58:54

the Frank ever. What

1:59:04

about those standing in your way? Who

1:59:11

like their hot dog the way it is? Good

1:59:14

question, live audience member. When

1:59:19

we ask these questions about the menu,

1:59:22

when there's a dialogue about

1:59:24

specials and substitutions, that

1:59:27

basically is foodtopia.

1:59:31

Directed by Frankfurter

1:59:33

Ford Doggala. Wow.

1:59:39

Frankfurter Ford Doggala.

1:59:42

Yeah, Frankfurter Ford Doggala. In case you

1:59:45

didn't hear it, Frankfurter Ford Doggala. Frankfurter

1:59:47

Ford Doggala. Guys,

1:59:50

that was exceptional. It

1:59:53

really was. It was so entertaining.

1:59:55

I have to say, Mitch. You

2:00:00

knew it. You knew the

2:00:02

song, you knew it. I pulled out the lyric.

2:00:04

Look, I'll be honest with you. This

2:00:06

morning it was going to be a Doctor Evil

2:00:08

monologue. And

2:00:11

then Weig said, we gotta do

2:00:13

Megalopolis. And I said, have

2:00:15

fun, buddy. So

2:00:19

things switched up a little bit. But you

2:00:21

know what? People liked it. You've

2:00:24

got the voice of an angel. Thank you. You have

2:00:26

a lovely singing voice. And I know you love Gordon

2:00:28

Lightfoot. I love Gordon Lightfoot. Hannah Dazon. Gold's

2:00:31

Gold. You got me listening to Gordon Lightfoot.

2:00:33

I'll get you listening to Rush. Stephanie, ask

2:00:35

me what's going on. Fair question. What

2:00:41

happened? It was

2:00:43

like Elvis. And I had

2:00:45

a weird teenage like, ah! No,

2:00:49

but in Stephanie's defense, it

2:00:51

came out of nowhere. I mean, it

2:00:53

just came out of nowhere. I was

2:00:55

like, what beta? Alpha, alpha, alpha. And then

2:00:57

when you went up and sang, I

2:00:59

was like, wow, he's got such good

2:01:01

range. Oh, man. Oh, my god. I

2:01:05

feel like that was an absolute motherfucking

2:01:07

fever dream that I just witnessed. And

2:01:10

I can't even. Well, it's one of those

2:01:12

things where you're like, this is incredible. I'm

2:01:14

enjoying this. But it keeps going. It's a

2:01:17

podcast. It's so long. Do we need this?

2:01:19

Yeah, one of those. It turns out this

2:01:21

is all happening in Stephanie's mind during a

2:01:23

sugar induced coma. I

2:01:27

would not be surprised. Wow. What

2:01:29

an Elvis he does, huh? It was great. I like

2:01:32

what he does. It was so good. Thank god bless.

2:01:34

If the Colonel heard that, he would not be surprised

2:01:36

that you were white, by the way. Yeah,

2:01:40

he's white. Yeah, no, I know. Oh,

2:01:42

the Doughboys? Yeah, they're white. What

2:01:44

are you talking about? So we're going to Google hot

2:01:46

dogs. I can tell you they're not white. They're

2:01:48

white? I know they're white. For

2:01:52

the 10 people that have seen the movie. They're

2:01:55

going hard on Megalopolis and Bob

2:01:58

Slurman's Elvis. Let's

2:02:00

throw the whale in there while we're at it. All

2:02:04

right, we got a bitch. We'll just do

2:02:06

one each because we got to get to questions. We're

2:02:08

going way too fucking long here. So yeah, we're searching

2:02:10

for hot dogs on Google. Hot dog, but I

2:02:13

think hot dog Canada. I think it's a Canadian thing. Before

2:02:15

that, can I just tell you one of the first things

2:02:17

that popped up? I have to tidy up now because

2:02:20

the sugar's still like, blah, blah, blah, blah,

2:02:22

blah. So like, it didn't end it. I

2:02:24

don't know how to do it. What's happening?

2:02:26

We're going to look at articles. We're

2:02:29

going to Google and you can read the first one

2:02:31

out. I once snuck into

2:02:33

a ditty party. Here's how I schmooze with

2:02:35

the stars at an event with naked women

2:02:37

and the best hot dogs. That's

2:02:40

in hot dog news. Wow.

2:02:43

Hot dog news. Miss

2:02:46

that headline. Here's one I searched.

2:02:48

This is on my preferred search engine, Microsoft Bing.

2:02:51

This is from the Daily Hive. I

2:02:53

searched for hot dog Canada on news. Blue

2:02:56

Jays fans eat obscene number of

2:02:59

hot dogs breaking a record. Wow.

2:03:02

God bless. So proud. I'll

2:03:06

meet you guys. Over 700,000 loony

2:03:09

dogs were consumed this season. Oh,

2:03:11

wait. They were only a loony? Apparently.

2:03:14

I don't know what the right is. Is a loony dog

2:03:16

a loony? It's $1. On loony dog night. There's a loony

2:03:18

dog night. I think it was against the Red Sox and

2:03:20

a lot of people online said it was me that was

2:03:22

doing this. And it

2:03:25

wasn't me just to be clear. Like

2:03:27

a special price or something? Yeah,

2:03:30

it's apparently a promotion every Tuesday. $1 hot

2:03:32

dogs. And they

2:03:36

broke the record this season. And on August

2:03:38

29, yeah, 76,627 hot dogs were

2:03:42

sold during a single game against the

2:03:44

Washington Nationals. How about that? Wow. Wow.

2:03:47

I'm proud of you. Yeah. Maybe

2:03:50

your greatest national achievement. Health

2:03:54

care is pretty good. All right, we got to take

2:03:56

some questions, Mitch. Yeah, we're done. That's let me be

2:03:58

frank. That's an abrupt let me be frank. and a

2:04:00

preview and a let-me-re-frank. All

2:04:02

right, Emma. What's up? Who

2:04:05

are we bringing out for questions? All right, I

2:04:07

got Alyssa C. Benny, AKA Matthew B., and Connor

2:04:09

M., if you wanna come meet me over in

2:04:11

front of the stage. All right, walk on down

2:04:13

to where Emma is right there and

2:04:16

have your question locked and loaded, and we'll get

2:04:18

to you. That's so crazy, because I'm seeing people

2:04:20

walk out. There are people

2:04:22

walking out. Also, you can leave. If you wanna

2:04:25

leave, you're like, you're not captain here. I saw

2:04:27

one person go to the bathroom. If you wanna

2:04:29

leave, we will remember what you look like. Okay?

2:04:33

All right, I got Alyssa here. I got someone walking

2:04:35

right there. Oh, Alyssa, hi. Hi, Alyssa. Hi, Alyssa. Hi,

2:04:38

Joe, boys. Hi, how you doing? What's your

2:04:40

question? My question is, what is your number

2:04:43

one Canadian snack that you are sneaking back

2:04:45

over the border? This is a great question.

2:04:47

Sure is. And actually-

2:04:49

Just kidding. This tees me up to

2:04:51

some degree, because I'm going

2:04:53

to allow every questioner, we are going to

2:04:55

allow every questioner to rummage through this Nestle

2:04:57

50 box, which

2:05:00

has four different candies,

2:05:02

Coffee Crisp, Kit Kat, Arrow, and

2:05:04

Smarties. Very different from the American

2:05:06

Smarties. American Smarties are like a

2:05:10

fruit candy. This one is a chocolate

2:05:12

candy. I

2:05:14

like that Coffee Crisp. That Coffee Crisp is real

2:05:16

good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

2:05:19

Yeah. Yeah. We

2:05:22

had those on set sometimes. We had those on set. Yeah,

2:05:24

they're quite delicious. They're very, very good. Alyssa, what's your answer?

2:05:27

It's a Coffee Crisp. It's a Coffee Crisp. For you, I

2:05:29

agree. Is that what you're taking? That's what I'm taking. Take

2:05:31

a couple if you want. Yeah. Treat

2:05:33

yourself. My brother. Not too many, I need a few.

2:05:38

Mitch, do you have a Canadian candy you really like? Uh.

2:05:43

Ricola. Ricola. I'm

2:05:46

going to take the Ricola back, thank you Stephanie. How

2:05:49

long has it been since I

2:05:51

ate the honey thing? Like five

2:05:54

minutes? Yeah. I

2:05:56

feel sort of normal again. Now. after

2:06:00

we sang Let Me Be Frank. Yeah, I mean, I think

2:06:02

I mean, Coffee

2:06:06

Crisp is the answer, right? It's coffee. This was

2:06:08

great. It's so distinct to there really doesn't just

2:06:10

have to be a sweet like hello, ketchup chips.

2:06:13

Oh boy, I wasn't thinking about chips at

2:06:15

all. What about him? Have you

2:06:17

guys tried Maynard's wine gums? Can you come

2:06:19

home with me? I saw them. I was

2:06:21

like, what?

2:06:26

Incredible Maynard wine

2:06:29

gums. I mean, that's how

2:06:31

we say it. I have some

2:06:33

manners at Beetlejuice too. I had some

2:06:35

Maynard's and that's fun. Okay, name drop.

2:06:38

Sorry, I mean, it remained named drop

2:06:40

Beetlejuice. Two. I can't

2:06:42

say it one more time. All

2:06:46

dressed. I forgot about I loved all dress

2:06:48

chips. Those are wonderful. They're they just do

2:06:50

not exist in the States. All right. Next

2:06:52

question. Hi, what's your name? Connor. Connor. Hi,

2:06:54

Connor. Hi, Doughboys. Are you reading?

2:06:56

What are you reading from? You're

2:06:58

scaring us. Book

2:07:01

of Mormon. I didn't write the question by

2:07:03

myself. Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay. That's

2:07:05

a thing about her help you. Did your

2:07:08

significant other help you? Yes. Love

2:07:11

this. She's the Doughboys

2:07:13

fan. I'm the plus one. Wow.

2:07:15

This is a version of expectation.

2:07:18

What do you think of the show so

2:07:20

far? That's entertaining. Okay, all

2:07:23

right. That

2:07:26

took a second. It's all

2:07:29

entertaining. It's he looked

2:07:31

at you and said it's he looked at why I said

2:07:33

on and he looked at Stephanie and I said enter. Connor,

2:07:35

what is

2:07:38

the question? A bit

2:07:40

long. Sorry. Okay. Okay. So Ricky from

2:07:43

the trailer Park Boys Famicily loves chicken

2:07:45

chips. And I have

2:07:48

a text chain with an old coworker

2:07:50

where we exclusively send pictures of chicken

2:07:52

chip flavors. The latest

2:07:54

was a subway teriyaki chicken. So

2:07:57

my question is what chicken preparation would

2:07:59

you like to see in a chip form? Okay,

2:08:02

yeah, keep going. Mine

2:08:04

is a chicken and waffles chips.

2:08:06

Oh, that's fun. Now,

2:08:09

all that is coming from the voice of your

2:08:11

significant other. We worked

2:08:13

on it together. Okay, got it. That is a collab.

2:08:15

I'm sorry. I apologize. A

2:08:17

collab. That's a great question. Just

2:08:20

help me wrap my mind around a chicken chip.

2:08:22

This is like a potato chip. This is like

2:08:24

a crisp with chicken flavor. Okay.

2:08:26

So, like, I could say tandoori chicken chip.

2:08:29

Oh, that's fun. There you go. I love that idea. You

2:08:32

got it. No, that's not mine. Mine is butter chicken.

2:08:34

Chicken chip. Oh, butter chicken is a great one.

2:08:36

That would be mine. Oh, boy. I had

2:08:38

a roti for the first time. Oh, that would be so good.

2:08:40

That would be so good. Yeah. Yeah.

2:08:43

So good. Very good. Yeah.

2:08:46

It's like an Indian

2:08:48

burrito. Yeah. It

2:08:50

was good. They handed it to you. They

2:08:52

said it was a low tea. So,

2:08:59

this is, again, I think, like, the

2:09:02

problem is when I love fried chicken is my

2:09:04

favorite food. I love just,

2:09:06

like, a well-seasoned fried chicken. You know what

2:09:08

I mean? Like, a Popeyes fried chicken. Just

2:09:10

like salty, you know,

2:09:13

savory. So as

2:09:15

far as, like, a specific varietal, I guess

2:09:17

I tend towards

2:09:20

I think I'd want something garlicky. Maybe

2:09:23

like a lemon pepper garlic, if that's an

2:09:25

option. And I know that's a little

2:09:27

specific, but I'm almost like I feel like lemon pepper is

2:09:29

like a little too, you know, on the

2:09:31

nose. So I want to go at it from a different

2:09:34

angle a little bit. I might be overthinking it. Maybe I'll

2:09:36

just say lemon pepper, but I think lemon pepper garlic gives

2:09:38

it a little something. Jesus Christ. Don't you? When

2:09:40

you get the- That's the show, man. No,

2:09:42

no, I know. That's the show. I'm just

2:09:45

reminded of it. Here's the thing. I,

2:09:47

like, I'm, you might be expecting something spicy because I'm a bit of

2:09:49

a heat seeker, but I- Lemon

2:09:54

pepper's pretty good. And then also at the same time, you got to

2:09:56

worry about Dracula. So you got to get garlicky there somehow. So-

2:10:00

Lemon burger garlic is kind of a good combo. I think that that

2:10:02

that that that that was... You want fucking Dracula breathing down your neck

2:10:04

when you're trying to munch on some crisps? Not down my neck. So

2:10:07

worst place you'd ever be? Yeah, it's too sweaty. He's

2:10:09

gonna slide right off! I'll

2:10:17

stick with lemon pepper. I'm

2:10:21

trying to win the crowd back over,

2:10:23

so Swiss-set chalet sauce. Wow.

2:10:26

Chicken chips. Incredible. You could've just

2:10:28

said quarter chicken, but that's

2:10:31

fine. Do you want spicy chicken sandwich or rundies? I

2:10:33

would do like hot Nashville hot chicken.

2:10:35

Oh, I love that. That's a lot of fun.

2:10:37

That would maybe work best. Wait,

2:10:40

did you go on? He ran away. Did you rummage? Connor,

2:10:42

did you rummage? He didn't want one. Your

2:10:45

S.O. doesn't want to rummage. He

2:10:47

was running away. He was running away. He was

2:10:49

running away. Okay.

2:10:52

Don't make that. Connor's leaving so

2:10:55

they can go draft some more

2:10:57

questions together. All

2:11:02

right, this is Benny. Hi, Benny. Hi, Benny.

2:11:04

Hi, Doughboys and Knife and Stephanie. Oh,

2:11:07

finally! So

2:11:10

I'm here with my friend Travis and my lovely

2:11:12

partner Liza, who is almost

2:11:14

37 weeks pregnant. Wow!

2:11:17

Yay! Congratulations! Have

2:11:20

it now! Please

2:11:24

don't have it now. Please don't. Please don't. I'll come to

2:11:26

move forward. Do you know anything

2:11:28

about pregnancy? It's close. It's

2:11:31

not time. Okay, sorry. I don't know too

2:11:33

much. Keep it in. So

2:11:39

my question is, if you can name your child after any

2:11:41

chain restaurant, which one would you choose? Wow. This

2:11:44

is really, this is a really tough question because

2:11:46

you want it to be also like a name. You

2:11:49

know what I mean? Like, I love In-N-Out

2:11:51

Burger. Oh,

2:11:53

old In-N-Out Wigur? That's the thing.

2:11:55

A child is a name. I love In-N-Out Burger.

2:11:58

That's the thing. A child name in a... out. Doesn't

2:12:03

want to be reminded of how he was conceived. I

2:12:08

think I have an answer, and

2:12:10

it is a titan not just

2:12:12

of my personal chain restaurant fandom,

2:12:14

but also a titan of improv

2:12:16

comedy. And where would we be

2:12:18

without improv? Thank you, Mr.

2:12:20

Close. Thank you, Mr. Close. Thank you,

2:12:22

Mr. Taco. Del Taco, my child, would

2:12:25

be named Del. Del Weiger.

2:12:27

Del Weiger. And then also, just

2:12:29

because Del Taco as a name

2:12:31

makes no sense, because it was

2:12:33

shortened from Casa Del Taco to

2:12:36

just Del Taco, they Sean Parker it, and now

2:12:38

it's just is like of the taco is like

2:12:40

what the name of it means. So then you

2:12:42

have like of the Weiger, which kind of makes

2:12:45

sense. It's a child's name. Five

2:12:47

guy Mitchell. McDonald's Mitchell is pretty

2:12:49

good. See,

2:12:58

I was gonna say Arby's because they have the meat.

2:13:01

Yes. And it sounds like an eight. Yeah,

2:13:03

Arby's is great. With

2:13:06

the S. I'll turn a

2:13:08

Canadian for how about Harvey? Harvey is a good

2:13:10

one. Harvey Weinstein, very good

2:13:12

name. I love it. Did

2:13:15

one come to mind for you? Is there anything you're weighing? The

2:13:18

only one I would name it after is Swishalei because it's

2:13:21

a five fork restaurant. Wow. Wow.

2:13:25

We'll see after I'm done with it.

2:13:27

We certainly shall. Hey folks, that's our

2:13:29

show. Thanks. Thank you. Alletta

2:13:33

Johnston. Emilia.

2:13:35

Thanks. They were the

2:13:37

dance for musical. And then it's time for the permanent Mike

2:13:39

Mitchell. I'm Nick Weiger. Happy.

2:13:42

Hey. The

2:14:03

knife is here with the knife's momma now, mom?

2:14:07

Yes I am. Well I'm the mom

2:14:09

of the knife for sure. Okay

2:14:11

mom. I gave her a knife when she

2:14:13

was one year old to cut her cake,

2:14:15

her birthday cake. It's true and there's a

2:14:17

photo of me holding a knife as a

2:14:19

baby. Now mom, what did you think about

2:14:21

Tim Hortons? Well I

2:14:25

have two views on this. I love Tim

2:14:27

Hortons. I'm a big Tim Hortons fan but

2:14:29

I gotta tell you, the quality has gone

2:14:32

down the drain. That's what I said. Yes.

2:14:35

Especially when they're giving me the

2:14:37

cream in my coffee. I say

2:14:39

half of a cream and it's

2:14:42

so white. This is my third

2:14:44

time hearing this story. I

2:14:46

hate it. I hate it. I hate like

2:14:48

24 hours. But I still go there because I

2:14:51

do believe they might change and get back to

2:14:53

the 60s. And

2:14:55

how do you feel about not being

2:14:57

asked to be on the Doughboys podcast?

2:14:59

Very upset. Actually furious. I am

2:15:02

furious. These people here. Why

2:15:04

were they consulting experts? My dad. This

2:15:07

is the nice dad. My biggest complaint with

2:15:09

Tim Hortons is they don't sell beer. That's

2:15:14

not mine. Mine is I want

2:15:16

quality. I want the quality

2:15:18

I'm used to from the 70s. Speaking

2:15:20

of quality, it's time to sign off.

2:15:25

When I find myself with

2:15:28

tummy grumbles, Evan Susser comes

2:15:30

to me. We

2:15:33

drive crazy fast to

2:15:35

Mickey D's. And

2:15:39

when it's time to order, she

2:15:41

is standing right in front of

2:15:43

me. Accidentally

2:15:45

order hot dogs Mickey

2:15:48

D's. Mickey

2:15:51

D's. Mickey D's. Fucking

2:15:55

up at Mickey D's. I'll

2:15:58

just have a fan. to Mickey

2:16:01

D's. Toronto!

2:16:05

How's everyone doing? It's your

2:16:07

favorite Doughboy's guest, Mike Hanford, here. To

2:16:09

tell you about a show I have

2:16:11

coming up at Comedy Bar on Bloor

2:16:13

Street on October 5th, right here in

2:16:15

Toronto. Hey, that's coming up. I'm gonna

2:16:17

be doing two shows, 7 p.m. and

2:16:19

9 p.m., and I'll be doing

2:16:21

an Hour of Stand-up at both. And

2:16:23

guess what? Toronto's very own Sarah Hennessey

2:16:25

will be there opening for me, which

2:16:27

is perfect, because she's

2:16:30

hilarious. So come on

2:16:32

out, October 5th at Comedy Bar. We're

2:16:34

gonna have some fun. Mickey

2:16:37

D's, Mickey D's!

2:16:40

Fucking up at

2:16:42

Mickey D's! No

2:16:45

eyes for that Fanta! Mickey

2:16:48

D's, yeah! That

2:16:52

was a Hate Gun podcast.